The balance between pleasure and pain

Balance is so important in life. I'm not referring to unfortunate accidents where people fall from buildings, although this balance is important (as you can see by the CDC data to the right). I am referring to the balance needed to maintain a healthy and satisfying life.

Pain has a place in our life. As a youngster, we learned that sticking our hand on the hot stove top hurts. From that point forward, we didn't stick our hand on a hot stove. Sometimes learning about heat related pain comes later in life, like the time I used a wet pot holder to take a tray of cookies out of the oven. My honey was saying "don't use tha..." which was interrupted by my "AAGGHHH!!" as the steam burn ripped through my fingers. She applied some ice, and explained how steam is created.

Another pain we experience is when our body sends signals to us that something is wrong with it. This can be related to some incident, such as hitting our thumb with a hammer, banging our elbow on the door frame, or stubbing a toe on the dining room table leg. I offer up these examples from experience, no gratitude on your part is required. I will guess that you have examples to add to this list.

Some of this pain is enough to send us to the medicine cabinet, looking for the Ibuprofen, or in some extreme cases, the left over bottle of Codeine from the last time we had a real pain and the doctor prescribed something for it. If this fails, we call the doctor, and make an appointment.

This is a logical and normal way to deal with pain, and we hope this doesn't happen to us. There's another kind of pain that few people are willing to endure. It is the pain of growing, the pain of learning, and the pain of self-improvement. I also offer these from experience, no gratitude on your part is required.

It may be hard to think of pain as something we learn from. A common quote I hear from people who exercise, is "no pain, no gain". I prefer the quote "ignore pain, no brain". For the past 30 years, I have been forced to endure pain as the cost of membership in first the Army National Guard, and then the Army Reserve. For a short period after retiring in 2004, I avoided the pain, and the cost was high.

It is easy to come up with reasons to avoid the pain of exercise. I have a name for the alter ego who often fights me - "the excusinator". His sole purpose in my life is to stay in my mind, and look at the temperature, precipitation, Internet, fireplace, as well as any slight discomforts in my body. He then uses these to tell me a story that will keep me from getting off of the couch, hunt out my Vibram Five Fingers, and put in some miles. He also tries to hide my yoga mat, make my bicycles (fleet) look like medieval torture machines, and reminds me of the food that is at my disposal in our fridge.

Exercise hurts, and can be dangerous. At least that is what our excusinators tell us. Last year while bike commuting, a person pulled up next to me at a red light (I was making a left from the left lane - a novel concept), and he was going straight in the right lane. He said to me "that's dangerous, be careful". I replied "it's not as dangerous as not getting exercise, and the stress of sitting in a car in traffic". He paused for a moment, and then agreed with me.

I see many people who avoid pain by seeking pleasure. Their pleasure is in watching endless hours of television, eating junk food, and staying up late robbing their body of rest while doing this. The things they think bring them pleasure, actually bring them weight problems, family relationship issues, and the pain associated with these problems.

This past week, the American Heart Association asked us all to be aware of heart disease. Yet what is heart disease? It is a symptom of a laundry list of behavior-related health problems. Overeating, a sedentary lifestyle, Crackberry induced stress, and an insane level of distractions all add up to a health crisis. The American Heart Association lists 7 things to do decrease your likelihood of getting heart disease. But I have condensed these into two: be mindful of what goes in your body, and exercise.

After retiring from the Army Reserve in 2004, I stopped exercising, and threw myself into the pleasure side of life. I gained about 30 pounds, my asthma came back with a vengeance, my knees hurt, and I was not happy looking in the mirror. I expressed my concern to my honey one day, and she said "why don't you pretend you are a Soldier for the rest of your life?". So I did that. I resolved to be able to pass the Army Physical Fitness Test any day of the week. I realized it had to be a lifestyle, not a scheduled event.

Exercise hurts. But not nearly as much as the many issues you will face if you don't exercise. My first few exercise attempts were painful, and I had "the excusinator" running in full force. It was a rocky start, and I still occasionally have short periods where I succumb to life's temptations, and don't exercise. But I come back to it, and each time I come back to it I realize more how within 30 seconds of starting to exercise, my brain gives me some nice dopamine, and other natural chemicals that reward us for doing something good for us.

I used to run to see how fast I could get, and was disappointed when I wasn't improving. Then last year I started to just run for fun, and not let my running time matter. In a 5k last year, I tried running with a smile on my face. I set a personal record. Two weeks later I ran with the smile on again, and a funny thing happened. I beat my previous personal record.

I learned something from smiling while I ran. We will never be the best we can be at something until we truly enjoy it. It is in the enjoyment of an activity that we subconsciously apply the energy necessary to excel. So when I run, I never run at a pace that hurts, nor do I ride my bike at a pace that hurts. This doesn't mean that I hold back, it just means that I give my energy to the task at hand, but respect my body in the process. Ignore pain, no brain.

When on the mat doing yoga, I often feel pain. It can be a prolonged downward dog, or some difficult twist that causes the ligaments and tendons to implore the excusinator to petition me for release. But we learn what is a real pain, and what is a pain caused by our inner voice, and we settle into the pose, putting the excusinator on notice that it isn't allowed to control the body. As we teach ourselves this control of the inner voice, we experience the pleasure at the edge of pain. The sweet pleasure our body experiences as we return to a recovery position rewards us for the pain. And each time we practice, we recalibrate the limits of our body as well as our minds. The recalibration of our minds is where our growth comes from.

Life is all about our free will, and the choices we make. Are your choices creating a better life for you, or are they setting you up for the pain that has no reward of pleasure?