Addressing a manipulative boss - disguised as a short story?

"Look at this. They're all gone. They must not have much work to do to be leaving this early." I tried not to show my confusion as my boss at the time surveyed the art department's abandoned institutional gray cube farm. "If they can all be out of here this early, I will decrease the head count. These people aren't committed."

He adjusted his tie with his thumb and forefinger, pinkie pointed out, as though he was sipping tea in a fine restaurant. He convulsed for a second, then abruptly turned, headed back to the soft glow of the end table lamp in his office. He was here to stay, and had furnished his office accordingly. I kept expecting to see a Persian rug delivered, but for now he stuck with the industrial gray carpet us plebes had. His lamp was to let you know he was someone. He had a lamp. We plebes had fluorescent tubes as our only light.

For a brief moment, I considered biting my tongue. That was a brief moment. I had just wasted over an hour with him in my office, discussing important business issues, like what his favorite sushi restaurant was. I'm all for extra effort, but I'm not for extra hours of anti-productive emptiness. "It's 7 o'clock, why should they be here?" I asked, my blood pressure rising, and my insides tightening as I waited for his response.

"Because this is their JOB! They can't provide for their families if they have no JOB!" He ranted, small globules of spittle cascading from his open mouth, his goatee giving him the appearance of a contrived character from an animated comedy. A face suddenly appeared down the aisle from us. The cleaning crew was already in the office, and someone emptying the trash cans a few rows into the cube farm peered warily around the corner, probably seeing if he should make a break for the fire escape before this descended into violence. When he realized it wasn't a fight, and no guns were about to be taken out, he walked across the aisle, tying a garbage bag, pretending not to notice us.

"This is a publishing company, not an advertising agency. People make choices in life, and every artist I know makes a decision early in their career. Do they want a family, or would they prefer the excitement of the advertising world? The people here chose a family. If they wanted to work past 7 at night, they'd have chosen a career in advertising." The words were out before I could catch them. Pure, unadulterated, and honest. There, chew on that awhile.

He stared back, unsure how to handle the situation. I looked back, sure that he was the problem in the organization, not the solution. "See you tomorrow" I said, as I turned and headed toward the elevator.

The next day, I had an invitation from my boss for a meeting that started at 6:30 that evening. I walked to his office. He wasn't in yet. I went back to my office. I repeated this every 15 minutes, wanting to get rid of the anticipatory stress I was carrying. The morning dragged on. I worked on projects, and underneath it all, I carried the tension of the impending conversation with me, the same weight as I carried every day there. Heavy, yet immeasurable. Like the after effects of a swift kick in the groin, not that I'd had one of those in years. It was there, not letting go. Keeping me distracted with the pain.

At around 11:30, just as I was about to go brave the wall of smoke to get outside for a walk to enjoy the sunshine, my boss wandered past my office. He was coming in early, at the crack of noon. This was typical. I took a deep breath, and straightened my tie. He was big on appearance. "Fred, do you have a second?"

He stopped, turned his head to look over his shoulder, and said "Can it wait for our meeting later today?" You mean tonight, don't you? This was an inside thought, not a sentence that left my mouth.

"No, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I have plans tonight, and can't stay after hours." I put a slight emphasis on "after hours", maybe more than was necessary, but that happens sometimes. "Can we meet today, during work hours?" I lightened up the emphasis, but it still came through.

"I have meetings all day, can't you change your plans?" He cold stared me. Now I was pissed off. That was rude. I was beyond being nervous. He continued on. "That's the only time I have available." He adjusted his laptop case, and looked toward his office, probably planning his escape from this random act of management he was being forced into.

I tried to hide my irritation behind the screen saver facial expression. I hoped it would work just this one time. "How about if we meet tomorrow first thing, I can come in early." I wasn't going to lose this one, he was just too oblivious to accept his impending loss yet.

"Gosh, I'd love to meet early, but I have breakfast with children every day. It's our ritual." Was that sarcasm, or did he have some intestinal distress while he talked? Either one was fine, because I just made Bingo, I hit pay dirt. He's going down. My brain quickly processed this tidbit, and came up with the perfect response.

"I totally get that, I'm all about family. See, that's why I can't meet after hours. I have dinner with my wife every evening. This is our time, a time for us to reconnect. It's what we've done for our entire marriage, and I have no intentions on changing this" I worked a smile into it, and used my soft library voice, the one I would use to ask "which way are the romance novels" if there were other patrons near the desk. At least if I read romance novels, that'd be how soft my voice was. I don't read them.

He twitched, and I could see I'd just overloaded the portion of his brain he utilized to win arguments with the maintenance staff. He was out of his league, on the slippery slope, and I had just given him a push disguised as a brotherly love tap. He was out of ammunition, the wind left his sails, pick your cliche, the discussion was over. "I'll look at my calendar and see what I can free up today." He never did. There wasn't anything to discuss. We never met after hours, I made it a point of coming in early to complete critical work, so I could deflect any urges he may develop to re-initiate evening meetings, or ambush my extra efforts with his dropping by to unload theories on why employees kept running their keys down his car when they left the office.

A few days later, I decided that this wasn't over, and I needed to put this issue to rest. I was in his office so he could regale me with stories of his meteoric rise in the advertising world, how he rescued every company he worked for, and how he would sleep in his office. I pretended I thought this was cool, and began to pity him for the things in life he chose to value. His two daughters and wife rarely saw him. Maybe they liked it that way. Maybe he liked it that way. But it was just wrong, fundamentally out of sync with what is important in life.

I waited about 45 minutes for him to pause in his story, and I quickly started with my topic. "Fred, I get the impression that being in the office is more important to you than productivity. It seems like face time trumps work time. If this is what you expect of me, to be here regardless of whether I have work to do or not, please let me know now so I can make decisions regarding my career path." He just sat there, his brain once again overloaded with confusion. He must have had everyone afraid of him throughout his career. Here I was, holding up the mirror, showing him for what he was. I wasn't going to play his game.

I continued. "If you are in any way dissatisfied with my productivity, please tell me so I can do what is needed so neither of us are disappointed. I hope you see by now that I will do what is necessary to deliver exceptional results, but I am not interested in sleeping in my office to show my dedication." Neither is my wife. I left that part out. Maybe I said it a little more pointed than that. Our minds have a tendency to smooth things over with time.

Fred picked his pen up, tapping it on his hand. He stared at the ceiling, then dropped the pen and leaned back in his executive chair. "No, that's not what I'm trying to have you do." His expression said something entirely different.

I won this battle, but the war would continue. It was the war for a life, and it had to be won. Losing was not an option.

Any resemblance to a person with a life, or without one is purely ... coincidental? You can determine if it's fact of fiction, either way, the point of the story remains the same.

Do you hold your ground when asked to do something that is against your principles? Or do you do what you are told to do, quietly seething, waiting for the chance to change the situation? Also, do you like this style of writing, a scene to make the point, instead of just an essay? Please comment below!

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Forget waiting around for inspiration, just start already!

I started this blog over 6 months ago as a way to experience how to leverage social media, build a platform, and to practice writing. About 3 months ago I signed up for a book writing class, and established a schedule to write. The class started about a month ago. Each morning I get up at 5:00 (okay, this morning I got up at 5:34) and head to my home office and write until about 7:00.

I'm not starting until I'm inspired

Some mornings I work on my book writing assignments, write a scene for the book, or write a blog. Some mornings I stare blankly at my monitor, waiting for the words to travel from my caffeine deprived head to my fingertips. For this blog, I maintain a list of topics that I add to when an idea hits me. Which is about 15 times a day. My topic list is about 3 pages long, and you'd think I could just wake up, take the first topic, and start writing. But life isn't that easy. You'd think I could scan the list, and have one topic grab me and inspire me to write. This happens often, and when it does, I go with it. Some of the best blogs in terms of traffic are spawned from this form of topic selection.

It's the mornings where I wake up, stare at the list, troll Facebook, push stuff around my desk, and sip my coffee that require the most work. This morning is one of those days. I'd rather sit and wait for the perfect topic to just pop out of my subconscious, forcing my fingers to tap away at the keyboard. Then I realize that today is probably the typical day for me. In fact, it's probably the typical day for most of us. We don't all start the day as a bubbling fountain of energy, with inspiration, and a choir of angels singing cover songs to light the way for us.

Instead, we likely get up, feel our way through the kitchen assembling our breakfast, maybe putting our own needs aside to serve someone else - like kids or cats, and then go with the rhythm of the day. We leave the house around the same time, go to the same job, do the same stuff, and then come home for the routine, and then go back to sleep. This routine carries on day after day, week after week, and year after year. Maybe we have ideas about how we can change all this, and do something different, yet we wait for the right time, the right place, and the right circumstances to act on what we really want to do.

My mornings are like this on many days. I think about falling back into the rhythm, leaving the list of topics to find its own way in life, let the list of ideas become stale, let the blog drop, or don't bother working on the book. it's easier to admit that inspiration is fickle, it may have moved down the street, compelling someone else to chase their dreams. I'm not worth the time.

And then I see these thoughts for what they are, and I see the lack of inspiration for writing in its full depth. I realize that inspiration is highly over rated. Our best inspiration comes from just getting started. As soon as we start doing something we love to do, inspiration will jump out from its hiding place, and propel us along. We don't need to wait, we only just need to start. We are more likely to finish if we start. Not starting is probably to blame for much of failure.

So this morning I just started. I wasn't sure where the words would take me, but after the first sentence was written, the rest just followed. Another blog is complete, and I can move on to the rest of my day - peeling and packing vegetables for our daily lunches for the week, watering our gardens, and getting ready for the rest of the day. Today's blog is complete because I started it. This is how much of life works.

What haven't you started? Where does your inspiration hide? Do you have any tricks for getting inspiration to join you on your quests?

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Work life balance and the negative impact of organizational heroes

Show me an organization that has members who can't unplug their cell phones for a week, and I'll point out the dysfunctions of the organization. I know, I'm using strong words. I can back this up with experience, so please read on.

So many people don't take vacation, and even if they take it, they spend a large portion of their time scanning their e-mail. Look around you the next time you are relaxing somewhere. Set your crackberry down, and actually look at people. Many are staring at their devices, ingesting some highly important communication related to world peace, or anxiously pecking at the lilliputian keyboard, firing off an e-mail about global crop shortages while sitting next to the pool in a swim suit.

More than half of the working population in America don't use their vacation days. A vacation for many workers is just an opportunity to work from somewhere exotic. What's with that? There aren't any do-overs for a missed life.

Look closely. No crackberry here.

In a previous blog post, I wrote of how I served four years in an Army Reserve unit that trained the leadership of National Guard and Reserve units. We were in essence consultants, tasked with helping units become better at making war - before they actually have to make war.

We had a technique that was always effective in identifying a broken unit. We looked for the hero. That one person who could do it all, and was counted on to do it all. We watched her run around the operations center, receiving incoming problems, as she fired back the solutions. Almost every unit had one of her. She was easy to see. Everyone lined up to feed from her energy and intellect.

We'd usually wait for a critical period, and we'd kill her. Just like that. Dead. It was a simulated death, but the impact was pretty much always the same. There'd be loud protests, appeals to our good senses, and sometimes outright begging. I've heard stories that some people would pray for a miracle, but I never witnessed this. We'd take the person off-site, get them some of that good two day old Army coffee, and not let them back into the operations center. The operations inevitably and quickly came to a grinding halt, and the units often failed in accomplishing their mission.

What they gained from this failure was knowledge. Every unit we did this to, learned a valuable lesson. If you don't have someone ready to step in for each key person, then you were setting yourself up for failure. Attrition planning isn't something to do when a retirement is announced months in advance. It's part of a good organizational plan.

This lesson also applies to you. Yes, you. The person with the crackberry, sitting by the pool, banging out an e-mail when you should be rubbing sun block on your partner's back, or teaching your child how to do a proper cannonball into the pool. If you are so important that you can't get away from work for a week or two without checking e-mail, you are setting your organization up for failure. That's right. You are not a good team player if your work can't be covered while you are out. Taking an unplugged vacation is a controlled test to see if your team is competent. If they contact you, then you may need to spend more time training them on your return.

The reality is that within a few days of your permanent departure (which will happen), your responsibilities will be absorbed by other people, and you will be blamed for whatever is wrong for as long as this is reasonable. Eventually your e-mail address will return an error to the sender. Your life at the organization will end. In six months, few will remember what you did at the organization. Your favorite stapler will have a new home.

There. How's that for perspective? Now go ahead, book that vacation. In fact, take two weeks in a row. Tell everyone you're headed to some island with an unpronounceable name, and even if they had Internet, they have no electricity, so there's no way to reach you. Your job will be there when you return. This can be a validation that you are great team player, and that the people around you are competent enough to keep things running while you are out.

No one is irreplaceable. Not even you. Now go prove it. Maybe while you're on that island, you'll rediscover how nice it feels to rub sunblock on your partner, or have it rubbed on you. Stranger things have happened outside of the office.

What is the longest vacation you've taken? Have you ever lost a job for taking vacation?

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Work life balance and a wretched commute

If you've ever traveled on a road, or even so much as seen a road, you must read Tom Vanderbilt's book "Traffic". It's an informative, easy, and fun read about how we transport ourselves from one place to another. It opened my eyes to many road use dynamics that changed the way I view driving my car, as well as how I drive my bicycle. That's right, drive my bicycle.

Tom Vanderbilt often writes for Slate, and a recent post brought back memories of my commute from our home (at the time) in Rockland County, NY, to Stamford, CT. I'd leave from either end of my commute with plans for what I'd do on my arrival. There'd be productive stuff for the "work" end of my commute, and fun stuff at the "life" end of my commute.

Some of these people are still
trying to get home from work

One particular commute home stands out in my mind. It was a gorgeously sunny, blue sky, low humidity day for my Friday drive. I skipped out a little early, filled with visions of a hike with my honey, followed by a relaxed dinner on our deck - heck, I'd even barbecue! I put the car in gear, and made my way to the interstate. I made record time all the way to the outskirts of Tarrytown.

As I approached Tarrytown, the cars slowed... and slowed more. They finally stopped. After about 15 minutes standing still, I shut off my engine and opened the windows. I eventually got out of the car. Occasionally, the other cars would roll forward. I'd just get back in the car, leave the engine off, and roll down the hill to close up the gap. Time passed. My phone rang. "Hi, what time will you be home?" my honey asked innocently. "I don't know", was my definitive estimate. "Where are you?" was her next question. I drew in my breath, and told her my location. She said she'd start dinner. There'd be no walk, and no barbecue on the deck.

A half hour later, I had moved about as far as one could throw the stereo of the musically challenged driver next to me, and my phone rang again. "How much longer will  you be?" she asked. "I don't know" was my answer. "Can you make a guess?" I provided a range of 1-3 hours. We talked a while, and realized our plans for the evening no longer mattered. I'd have a late dinner, and maybe we'd share a drink on the deck before bed. We were both disappointed. This wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last.

I'd taken the position less than a year before because it was a great career opportunity. It would provide me the opportunity to build experience leading higher level initiatives, and be a logical next step on my career path. It was a great company, with a very flexible atmosphere. As I interviewed for the position, I glossed over the commute. I could hack it. It'd be manageable, I could rationalize that all I was getting from the position would be a fair trade off for the unpredictable commute. All would work out. I'd overcome bigger challenges in my life.

Within a few weeks of starting, I was not liking a long commute while driving a stick shift in stop and go traffic. It wasn't just stop and go, it was a continuous practice of drag racing skills - starting and stopping continuously, trying to protect the space in front of us from the drivers who insisted on changing lanes as often as possible. Almost daily I'd see what happens when someone misses the brake pedal. There's be auto carnage every few miles.

I gained weight, lost patience, and increased stress. This carried through into other areas of my life. It was easier to ignore life, and grab a beer to decompress after a terrible commute. Wouldn't you agree that beer is the best choice after a long drive?

Within a year, I had become so turned off from the long commute, that I found a new position. I now have a 17 mile round trip commute, and am able to commute by bicycle a few days a week. I love the bike commute around Christmas. The cold air invigorates, and the ride home in the dark provides me the opportunity to enjoy the lights people put out to decorate their homes and businesses. There's a Zen-like feel to the ride. I combine something I have to do (commute) with something I love to do (drive my bicycle).

Many days as I pedal my bicycle over the Garden State Parkway, I see the density of car tail lights heading south, and envision the disappointment these lights represent. Many occupants of those cars are just like I used to be. A lonely commuter, with plans and a life. Instead of living the dream, they are sitting in traffic. Life is like that. We make a choice, and sometimes the choice makes sense mathematically, but the real costs can't be calculated in dollars. It can only be measured by the opportunity cost of what we lose in terms of living.

What is the value of having a fulfilling life? What was your worst commute, and how did you make it more bearable?

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Work life balance, and the war to maintain it

There's a pretty simple reason I work hard to maintain a work life balance. For over 20 years, I served in the Army National Guard (19 years) and Army Reserve (4 years). My weekends were planned in advance. I was required to attend at least one weekend of training per month, plus two weeks a year. During my first 19 years of service, these weekends were predictable, and often conflicted with family events. I missed parties, picnics, baptisms, weddings, and funerals. My time wasn't mine. I was part of a higher calling.

For my final 4 years of service, I was in an Army Reserve unit. I was the senior NCO for the combat arms team in a training unit. We worked with Guard and Reserve unit leadership to improve their battle planning skills. Our unit had a small contingent of Regular Army members who were full time, and managed the logistics and much of the execution around training. 

This unit was different than any unit I served with. Everyone was a senior person in some way, and we had a mixture of military specialties assigned. When we were training a transportation unit, we could pull together a team with transportation expertise, and supplement it with whatever specialties that would supplement the core skill set. As with any organization, we had many stars, and many dregs. We also had people who would come up with a hardship at the last minute, and our Army contingent would reach out and grab people to fill the holes in our roster. 

I remember one phone call I took in my office from one of our Army team. It was a Wednesday afternoon. "Master sergeant? This is Major Bloviator. I have you booked on a flight out of Newark Airport at 1700 hours this Friday afternoon. Your flight will land in Portland, Maine. Rendezvous with Major Shrek, and staff Staff Sergeant Whiner. Major Shrek is authorized a rental car, and will drive you to the training site". I was silent for a moment. "Sir, I am not scheduled for this training. Did you check the schedule?" We paused so he could execute a perturbed inhale... "We had (name redacted) come up with an emergency, something about a pool filter and whatever. So I picked you to replace him". "But Sir, I have plans this weekend.." "Too bad master sergeant, this is for the flag. Suck it up!" I bit my tongue, and took the assignment. These same Regular Army members, who told us to suck it up, usually made it into their offices at the crack of noon, and were back on the way home before Judge Judy was on TV. "Suck it up" was a one way street for them. But I digress, and I vent. 

I picked up the phone and dialed, waiting for my honey to pick up. "Honey? I know we were supposed to go hiking this weekend, but I just got orders to head to Maine... I know honey, I'm real sorry... I can't, the major is a dick, and won't budge... I'll make it up to you. I promise" I hung up the phone, knots in my stomach, vowing to retire as soon as I could. That was the summer of 2000. 

In 2003 I found myself mobilized with the same unit, and under the same operational tempo. Fortunately, I stayed in the US. After about 6 weeks on the road, I was home on a five day pass for Easter. I arrived home at about 9:00 on Saturday morning, and didn't have to be back on duty until Thursday morning. My honey and I had plans. She took off of work. We were excited to have 5 days together, and would try to ignore the underlying tension of knowing I'd be gone again for weeks on end after I went back on duty. Our only communication was texting and irregular calls. 

Easter Sunday we lounged around, preparing to head off to her parents' for the day. My official Army cell phone rang. It was my commander. He related how there was a problem on one of the teams, two soldiers were having some personality issues. He wanted me to travel with them to see if I could be a psychologist, and help figure out how to have two grown men not argue constantly. The rest of the team was threatening to leave them on the side of the road. I like that plan, but had to go with my commander's plan. I needed to be at Fort Dix for a 0600 hour departure for Fort Bragg. That meant I had to return on Easter evening, so I could pack my gear, and make the van departure on time. 

It wasn't fun for me and my honey. She now had three days off, and she'd be alone. I was home for one night. I looked forward to the receipt of my 20 year letter. I vowed to get my life back, and never give it up again. I'd left too many good times on the table. Watching them pass without my participation. The rest of my mobilization was more of the same. At least I was in the US. Things could always be worse. 

When my 20 year letter arrived, I was eligible to retire. It took me about 6 months to finally do it, but I did it. It was a very difficult decision to make, and I feared I'd lose the friends I made while serving. I feared I'd miss the high operational tempo I lived with for over 2 decades. I retired from the Army Reserves at 41 years old, which is rare. Most people either get out at less than 12 years service, or stay until they age out, or are forced out due to physical limitations. My decision to leave was a good decision, and I have never regretted it. Life is too short to let someone else control our time for us. At least too short to allow others to control it for too long.

Are you presently fighting for work life balance? How much of your time outside of regular office hours are yours? How do you maintain balance?

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You can't out run stress

I've been monitoring an interesting topic on LinkedIn. Harvard Business Review used their group to ask readers to provide what appeared to be very simple advice: HBR wants your tips for managing stress! I intended to respond later that day. Later that day, there were several hundred responses. I decided that with that many responses, my opinion probably wouldn't add much to the discussion. As of today, the number of responses exceeds 800. I quickly skimmed the responses a few times, and saw that few people who responded to the request understand stress.

Think about physical stress. Let's pretend that your posture is causing your shoulders to be sore, and this in turn is making your neck hurt. The next logical step may be to visit the doctor, and have medicine prescribed to remove the pain. Just go with me here... there is a point to this. Maybe the doctor also provides us with a neck brace so we don't have to cause additional stress to the muscles. We return to work, comfortably numb, and continue to work. The physical pain is no longer an issue, because we've treated the symptoms. What we haven't done, is treat the cause. The cause in this case is your posture. If you treated the cause, your symptoms would go away. It's that simple. By treating the symptoms, we have allowed the stress to continue, and we can expect the damage to increase.

We've all been stressed at one time or another. Maybe we have an overwhelming sense of too much to do, or we have deadlines looming and it looks like we may deliver late. Or we end up working for a boss who has unrealistic expectations, and we are being pressured to do the impossible, such as giving up our home life for "the cause". Stress sucks. It keeps our blood pressure elevated, precipitating heart disease, unhealthy lifestyle choices, and a poor diet. It sends many people to the liquor cabinet, and keeps them glued to the television, watching escapist shows that in turn destroys productive hours that the person could have invested doing something meaningful. 

We are told by many experts that exercise is a great way to deal with stress. I'm not sure how that works. So if I have a crappy day, I'm supposed to put on my Vibram Five Fingers, and run a few miles? When I come back, all will be well. Or I can go to the gym, run on the treadmill while watching a 24 hour infotainment channel, and when I am done, I will be sweaty and the stress will be gone? If only this were so. No matter where you go, or how fast you run, there you are. Always there, stress and all. Exercise may help us sleep better and keep us physically healthier, but it doesn't remove the stress. It can also be helpful to provide us the space and time we need to identify the stressor and formulate a plan of action. But exercise alone won't solve our problems.

So how can we rid ourselves of stress? In my experience, the only lasting way to remove stress is to address the cause of it. In some cases we know what it is, and we're able to utilize tactics to change the situation. Other times, we may not be able to remove the cause of the stress, so we must resort to a different approach. We can shift our perspective, and by shifting our perspective, the stress no longer means anything. Or we can remove ourselves from the situation causing the stress, often by changing jobs.

A simple planning tool for managing stress

The above flow chart isn't something we should run through in an hour, a day, a week, or even a month. Earlier in my career, I may have quickly made it to the bottom terminator "Form an exit plan". Over the years, my perspective has changed, and with this change, I am more likely to utilize discussions with peers (or my honey) to make sure I am accurate in identifying the stressor. I also invest more time in shifting my perspective. 

Shifting perspective is a rich topic, and one I will delve into on future blog posts. It is truly the key to enjoying our lives. As humans, we often latch onto something negative, like a terrier holds a sock. We can't unlock our teeth from it. Stress originates here. Where our teeth meets the sock. Why don't we let the sock go?

What are your tips for managing stress? (Just kidding. We know there's only one way to manage stress.) Have you ever found yourself stressed, and as a result, made a poor decision that had a long term impact on you and your life? This blog supports anonymous posts, so no worries that you will be "outed".

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Organizational Culture - balance between effectiveness and likability

I've worked for a variety of organizational structures in the course of my career. Something I've noticed, is that cultures vary from one place to another. There are tons of books out there explaining culture, how to pick and create the culture you want, and the importance of being in an organization with a culture that fits your work style. There are 263 books on Amazon.com that are about organizational culture. Don't read them all, I will summarize culture for you in this one blog.

I developed this theory one night while on a business trip, sitting in a hotel room, working on my masters. Culture is a continuum. On one side is "likability", and on the other is "effectiveness". Each organization is located somewhere on this continuum. The closer an organization gets to one side, the farther they get from the other side.

In the example above, I am using two organizations to show how the continuum works based on my experience. On the right, is the Army while I was mobilized. On the left is big book publishing before the Internet dramatically changed how they must do business.

The Army placed a higher value on individuals being effective than it did on individuals being liked. As a high performing organization, a unit would have high morale coupled with high effectiveness. The reason an organization can have both of these, is because the culture supports the enforcement of norms. Everyone knows how to act, and what is acceptable group behavior. If someone steps outside of the acceptable group behavior, anyone on the team will confront the person, and guide them back. I witnessed this in action many times, and rarely saw someone hold a grudge as the result of being corrected. This is how the culture worked.

In publishing, the focus was on being liked. When confronted with a decision related to a project, it was generally acceptable to either extend a deadline, hire more resources, or change the scope to meet the output. Rarely did I witness anyone be pushed to be effective. The value of the individual was how they interacted, and how nice they were. Everyone likes to work with nice people, but when it comes to getting stuff done, it was often difficult to say to someone "you had a month to do this 1 hour activity, why do you need another week?". That would be rude. It was better to hand wring, commiserate, and implement an alternate plan.

When starting at a new organization, it is very important to arrive on the left side of the scale, and determine where on the continuum the organization operates. Once you determine this, start working your way right until you are assimilated into the organization. If you start your new job on the right side of the continuum, and the organization is way on the other end, you risk damaging relationships. In the worse scenario, you may generate a "t-cell response" and be treated like an organizational germ. Now that isn't fun.

What other factors impact culture? Is there a vertical line to add, or additional aspect that is at the macro level?

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The Friday Compost - all the news that's fit to rot

Let it rot. That's our motto. We even rot some of the newspapers that we peel our root veggies onto. The newspaper may not be organic, but in the overall scheme of things, they probably add less to soil contamination than the fallout of the car exhausts from the 900,000 people living in my county.

This morning's Friday Compost before turning it over

Composting is very simple. I've done this for years. You only need four things - nitrogen, carbon, water, and heat. Nature will do the rest. Nitrogen is basically anything green, and comes from the various vegetable scraps we accumulate during food preparation, the few times I catch our grass clippings, and from the occasional refrigerator reject. Carbon is brown - or dead, like yesterday's news - and is primarily tree branches, leaves, or any other items that aren't green. Water is crucial to the rotting process. Keeping your compost wet will keep it rotting. Keeping the compost hot will help it rot faster.

There are several ways to generate heat. One time I dumped our fireplace ash into the compost, and didn't realize it had hot embers in it. The ensuing smoke and fire was exciting, but NOT the way to generate heat. A good way to generate heat is to dump some of your grass clippings on top, but you are better off leaving the clippings on the lawn. Last year we purchased a plastic composting bin with a lid, and this black container generates heat from the solar gain of being exposed to the sun. After years of open composting, I am sold on the value of a good plastic bin with a lid.

We keep a small container on our counter, and when we prepare food, we toss the scraps in it. Every morning before work, I empty the container into the compost bin. I do this year-round. I have yet to run out of space, and we eat lots of vegetables and fruit. We also add egg shells, coffee grinds, tea leaves, and of course, the fireplace ash. After I confirm there are no hot embers remaining.

There seems to be a common myth that compost smells bad. Trust me, it doesn't smell bad. Through a new Google feature called "Rub and Sniff", if you rub your monitor where the compost picture is (below), and then smell your finger, you will experience what compost smells like from 3 feet away. Then wipe the finger smudge from your monitor. Placing the compost by your property boundary closest to your least desirable neighbor is a waste of effort. Place it close enough to make it convenient to use, and far enough away to not trip over it.

Friday Compost turned over

There are a few things you must do to keep your compost healthy. You must turn it a few times a week. I use a spading fork for this. You must also ensure that the contents of your compost bin is making contact with the ground. This allows for worms, and beneficial bacteria to migrate into the pile and speed the composting process. I use the handle from a broken garden tool to open gaps in the muck, and this lets the compost fall to the bottom after I remove compost from the access door at the bottom. I have taken about 5 shovels of great compost from the pile so far this year, and this is what was produced over the winter. I expect to get loads more as the weather warms and I start to turn the gardens.

Some items are not for the compost bin - meat, including chicken should never be added. Fish scraps are great, but be sure to bury it in the center of the bin to avoid any odors. Don't add any dairy, fats, or plastic.

Our town used to pick up garbage twice a week. Due to cost increases, they have cut back on pickups to once a week. Due to the type of items that end up in the garbage, our trash can doesn't smell, and the volume of garbage we generate is so low that a once a week pickup is just fine for us. Think of how much less would go to the landfill if everyone ate local, organic foods, and composted the scraps. This would also keep the farmers near us in business. The volume of compost we generate isn't huge, but there is great satisfaction in seeing our waste turned into an organic and clean soil amendment and fertilizer.

So give it a try! You will get addicted to it. Most counties sell discounted composting bins, so before purchasing one at a store, check with your local and county government. If you are already composting, did I miss anything? Is it working for you?

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Life is open book, so why do we memorize?

When I think back to my public school education, I try to determine how it prepared me for my life. What was the one class I took that was pivotal in making me a successful adult?

My success can't be due to math classes. In fact, I have a confession to make. I still haven't memorized the multiplication tables. The system I use, is to pick an easy number, and work from there. So if you ask me what is 7 times 7, I don't pull the answer from memory. I know that 6 times 6 is 36, so 6 times 7 is 42, because if I add another 6 to 36, I have 42. If I add 7 to that, the answer is 49, which is the same as 7 times 7. I can also work with large numbers this way. My system relies on a broad view, not on the details of the numbers.

When I was attending college, calculators were allowed in math tests, but not notes. So I would use a scientific calculator, and save the equations in the text function. I had a hard time memorizing long equations. When I sat for my Project Management Professional certification, I memorized the equations, and as soon as I sat down, I wrote them on the index cards provided by the test monitor. Whenever I need them now, I reach up to my bookshelf and look them up. Some would argue that I may not have a calculator at the moment I need to do the math, and memorizing the equation helps you better understand why the calculation is the way it is. This may be a valid point. If this issue comes up once in my life, I will reconsider memorizing the equations.

Some people refer to the above approaches as common sense. Which is something we don't seem to teach anymore. We line kids up in rows, and teach them all the same stuff. Our focus appears to be on having children pass standardized tests, but life isn't standard. Life is far from standard.

I slept through English. My vocabulary and grammar are honed from a voracious appetite for reading. I'll read a cereal box at breakfast if there's nothing else handy. Make me pancakes and invite me over, you can see for yourself. Ask anyone who knows me. I read. And then I read some more. Now I also write, which is very similar to reading.

In many ways we have a world of knowledge at our fingertips. We are able to quickly find answers to the most trivial questions within seconds by using our cell phones. Is your refrigerator broken? Look up the solution online. Do you have an ache or a pain? Look it up. We can scare ourselves half to death by typing our symptoms into WebMD. Admit it. You've done this. I have.

Before computers, books were our sole source of information. Many of us would walk to the library, search the index cards for the subject we wanted to learn about, write down the book location on a scrap of paper using a stubby pencil, and wander off down the aisles hoping to find the book we needed.

Before libraries, it was even harder to retain knowledge, since books were expensive and heavy. Of course our ancestors lived in a primarily agrarian society, so all they needed to know was what a weed looked like, and what was a vegetable. No one had to find a book to figure out how to kill a deer for food. Life was simpler.

Before a written language became common, many civilizations used songs to transfer information. The Mongols had a simple tune (sometimes called a ditty) they used, and would just add verses with the information they wanted to transmit. Everyone knew the tune, and the new orders were communicated by having the messengers learn the new verses.

Some historians think the tune they used was actually the Flintstones theme song. Imagine that bad song plant. Endless hours of riding horses across the steppes, marauding, killing, sending refugees running in fright, with the Flintstones running through your head. "Kill them, just kill them, we're a modern marauding family. From the, town of ..." you get it. (This song will now be in your head for a few hours. Thank me.) Years of this song would make you hungry for warfare also. The birth of the printed word has almost ended all of that.

So as I think about this more, what was the single best class I took? What time investment did I make in K-12 that made the largest impact on my life? Besides lunch, I'd say it was typing. These days it is called keyboarding, but when I was in school, computers were ... different than that they are today. I am now able to bang out a quick e-mail, text message, or blog. I can almost type... I mean keyboard, as fast I think. Well, almost.

What was your most valuable class from growing up? Feel free to comment. And if you like this post, please subscribe using the buttons on the right, and share with your social circle using the buttons below. Your friends will thank you, and think you are real smart.

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The truth should be told through us, not by us

I was warming up prior to the start of a 5k a few weeks ago, elegantly clad in my Vibram Five Finger Bikilas. A guy near me saw my footwear, and started a conversation about how I liked them. He had seen some press about VFFs, but hadn't tried them yet. I related how I had run exclusively in the VFFs since my first run in them over a year ago, and how I had reset my personal record in a 5k twice since then. I'm 48 years old, so this is no small accomplishment.

After ridding myself of excess fluids, I stopped by my running club's tent. My club has serious runners. People who make racing their priority in life. I am not a serious runner. I just utilize running as part of my cardio routine, and race for the t-shirts. As we mingled, someone noticed my bright blue Bikilas. He immediately told me how he had tried them, had pulled a muscle, and never ran in them again. Some others also ruminated on how bad they must be for the feet. I tried to explain how much these freaky little things did for my running, but they had the walls up. There was no way I could breach their defenses. So I just smiled, and nodded my head. I don't debate zealots, unless I have time to kill.

As we lined up for the start, many people were staring at my shoes. A few people were poking each other and pointing at my shoes while whispering what must have been anecdotes of doom and pain. Of the 500 or so competitors, I didn't see anyone else in VFFs. I was a freak. I am a freak. Take in my freakiness. The race started.

This year I decided to do everything with a smile on my face. It's easy to run with a smile on my face wearing the Bikilas. As my smiling faced passed the first mile marker, I noticed the clock showed 6:07. I was faster than ever. I also remembered that I had a 7 mile run on my training calendar (doing my first half marathon in June) for the next day, and I may trash my body if I kept at this pace, even if I was smiling. So I backed off a bit. My next two mile markers had me more aligned with the pace I wanted in the race. I was racing as part of my half marathon training.

As I came to the last stretch, a proud father called to his son who was in front of me, that he was in 26th place. I eyed up the kid, and then looked at the guy in front of him. He looked about my age, so I decided that if I could take him and the kid, I'd be in 25th place. So I picked the pace up. The gray haired guy picked the pace up. I settled about 10 yards behind him, and decided that if I beat one person, it should be him. The kid was no competition for me. The kid made his break. The gray haired guy held his pace. I put a little in the tank, and then busted loose. My strategy was simple - if I passed him quickly, he wouldn't try to keep up. I had to open the gap quickly, and take away his confidence that he could catch me. Which is what I did. The kid looked back, thought I was coming for him, and took off leaving us well behind. I beat the gray haired guy by a few seconds (you can see him in black over my shoulder in the picture), and he was in my age group.

As my body and mind settled, I sucked in air as I sucked down water. My honey came over and gave me a kiss. I noticed my time at the crossing, and it was 20:26, which put me at 6:35 per mile. My previous personal record was 6:45 per mile, and on a much flatter course. I was pumped. The results were posted as the sheets filled. I elbowed my way in (sorry kid, didn't mean to hit you in the head), and saw I 'd won my age group. This was a first for me. I wandered some more, and then doubted that the results could be correct. I must have misread the scores. My honey joined me to read the results, and yes, I won my age group. I was a happy guy.

As I watched the awards, two guys stood next to us. One noticed my footwear, and asked how I liked the VFFs. I told him that I won my age category, and had set three personal records in less than a year. He and his friend congratulated me, and one said he had been reading about them, and until now, he hadn't been convinced. Now that he heard me, he was convinced. He was buying a pair.

The members of my running club were great, we had won most of the age groups, and had a strong showing. As I walked back into the crowd with my first place trophy, I heard someone say "Look at what he has on his feet. Do you think he ran in them?".

On that day, I told the truth of minimalist footwear through my performance, not just with my mouth. We can tell people what we know to be the truth all we want, but the best way to convince others of the truth we find in our life is to live the truth. People around us see the impact the truth has on our lives and learn from this.

This lesson applies to many aspects of life, whether it be religion, personal beliefs, or world view. Tell the story through how you live our life, not with just your words. Be the change you want to see in the world.

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Spreading Zen peace and love - via LiveMeeting

Strange things can happen when using applications on a business laptop. Years ago, I was at a trade show doing a live presentation to a group of prospective customers.The presentation was taking place in a trade show booth, with about 20 people seated, and many others passively observing from the aisles. I also had colleagues hanging around, watching my screen. I was in my element, excitedly showing off the cool new stuff we were developing for middle school and high school students.

As I was about to provide the attentive audience with the main point I was trying to get across, MS Messenger suddenly popped open with an instant message from someone I know. It went something like this... "Hey Bobballooey! What's happening? Remember the time we were at that party and you ...". I'll let your imagination fill in the embarrassing details. I cracked a joke, closed the application, and continued on - somewhat flustered. Some of life's most lasting lessons come from incidents like this. Why didn't I learn from this?

Knowing yourself is the most significant aspect of achieving any sense of happiness in your life. I came to this realization a couple of years ago. It wasn't an epiphany that smacked me in the head. It just slowly percolated up through me. This realization was part of my journey - one that continues.

I thrive in high paced environments, where there is a certain amount of energetic tension that permeates the atmosphere. The sense of urgency, and the shared challenge of meeting group goals keeps me engaged and focused. The downside of a high paced environment is that my operational tempo will continue to increase until I have what feels like electricity coming from my fingertips. I know that if I don't take a lunch break, and step away from the computer at intervals throughout the day, I can get so wired that I carry this home with me.

My honey recommended an application to help me remember to take short breaks throughout the day. Stillness Buddy is a software program that opens when the computer boots up. The software allows you to pick the intervals and select the theme for your relaxation reminders. They offer a free 14 day trial version you can download.

From the first day I installed it, I found myself being more productive. I also found myself leaving work feeling more relaxed and able to refocus my attention on the "life" side of work/life balance. For my theme, I selected a Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh. I chose him as my Stillness Buddy, because he looked relaxed. The choice was that simple. (As a disclaimer, the entrepreneurs who created this program offer an affiliate program, and I do not participate in it. So I have not been paid or in any way rewarded for endorsing this product.)

So where does LiveMeeting come in here? Many of the meetings I facilitate are conducted via Windows LiveMeeting, a desktop sharing program that resides in Outlook. So everyone attending the meeting sees my computer desktop. Lately I have forgotten to disable my Stillness Buddy prior to my meetings. Maybe I'm doing this purposely at some subconscious level, wanting to share the peace and love with my colleagues. Or maybe I just forget. I am a guy after all. My colleagues who are paying attention, and not multi-tasking, will often laugh, and some have asked "what's that?". I always brush by, and occasionally have sent information after the meeting about the software.

The intruder at my LiveMeetings

Last week I was recording a live demonstration of some functionality in SharePoint. I convert these recordings into "just in time" trainings, and post them in our training library for my colleagues to access when they need them. I am proud to say that not only has Thich Nhat Hanh been a participant in many of my meetings, but is also now living in cyber-perpetuity as a part of some of our training. I hope my colleagues appreciate the sentiments I extend to them, and may they find peace in all they see, and spread that to others. They should also breathe in and out gently, while half smiling. I also hope I haven't violated any copyrights as a result of this inadvertent capture.

Has anything like this happened to you? What would you think if you were in a meeting and this happened? Please share your comments below. You can post anonymously.

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You'd see all the signs, make a guess, and be wrong

I was surprised last summer when I saw some friends for the first time in years. One of them immediately started a political conversation with me. It came across as confrontational at first, until I realized we agreed on many of the positions he was taking. After a short time, I asked him why he'd think I wouldn't agree with him. He cited my lifestyle choices as the reason to think we were not in alignment on many political issues.

What are my lifestyle choices? I live a low impact, green lifestyle. It isn't hard to do, and has provided me many benefits in terms of overall happiness, as well as in my financial and physical health. I think of this as part hobby, and part lifestyle. The more I become immersed in my chosen greenness, the more I come up with ideas on how to be more green.

Many days I roll out of my driveway on one of my bicycles, and pedal the 8.5 miles to my job. I wear my business casual clothes, with my shirt pressed and folded in my large front basket. My bike commute route has me sharing space with car drivers, pedestrians, commercial vehicles, and potholes. On days I don't bike commute, I carpool. If I have to take the car, I wrap in my errands on that day to take advantage using it. I also use my bike for most local errands. One less car is good for everyone.

My honey and I are part of a food co-op, Purple Dragon, and are vegetarians (I do eat fish and chicken occasionally). Every two weeks we receive a large box of local, organic, and healthy vegetables. Participating in this keeps our local and organic farmers in business. It also has an impact on our health. At least we like to think so.

We take all of the vegetable scraps, as well as egg shells, coffee grinds and other assorted kitchen waste, and compost it in our backyard in our Earth Machine. There are many benefits to doing this. We carry less garbage to the curb, send less to the landfill, and produce a nutrient-rich soil medium with the scraps from our organic produce.

Our lawn consists of diverse greens. We don't treat it with chemicals. I just started sowing in White Clover seeds to decrease maintenance needs, and provide pollen for bees. Our spring Crocus don't have to compete with the crabgrass prevention chemicals. I cut the grass with a manual lawn mower. I don't catch my clippings, and as a result I don't fertilize the lawn.

We have started the process of growing vegetables on our property. I built a cold frame from leftover building materials, and we have our first batch of seeds germinating. Our landscape is designed using many native species, and with the birds in mind. Planting just one shrub that provides food for birds makes a huge difference. Imagine if we all did this.

Our gardens is being dug now, and our compost us being utilized to supplement the soil. We will plant in a way to take advantage of the sun, and put in a fence to keep the tree rats (squirrels) out. Part of our plan is to get a couple of chickens to round out the suburban homestead.

The downspouts from our rain gutters have diverters installed, and the water is captured in barrels. We use the water from these barrels to water our plants (we don't water the lawn), as well as keep our compost moist.

We enjoy local theater, whether it be from my occasional part in a play, or our being in the audience enjoying the talents of other people. We both practice yoga, and have owned two Volvos.

If you put all of the above together, you would probably assume I am a liberal. And you'd be wrong. I am a supporter of our American form of government, and we are a representative republic. Notice I am not a Republican, meaning I am not registered in this party, and don't identify myself as such. I'm philosophically a libertarian - a lower-cased libertarian, not a member of any political party. I believe that individual rights trump all government power, and my lifestyle is an expression of me embracing my rights. One of my intentions for 2011 was not to blog about politics, so I will stop any more discussion of it right here. This blog is about putting labels on people, and how these are often wrong.

The decisions I make in regards to my lifestyle are based on being a good steward of the resources I can manage. This is aligned with my fiscal conservatism, in that I save money from my lifestyle, and I reap health benefits. These health benefits are in the form of a normal weight, no health flags to worry about, and a much happier disposition.

We often look at people, and based on what they are wearing, driving, or doing, we apply labels. Many of these labels are applied as a way to make a judgment about a person. An example of this is when we see someone in a Hummer. We may automatically believe they are a political conservative, and they don't care about the environment. We may see someone who is financially wealthy, and think of them as someone who takes advantage of others. Or we may see someone riding a bicycle to replace a car, and assume they are an environmentalist liberal. These conclusions are often wrong.

Think about this during your day, while monitoring your inner voice, and you will probably see examples of what I'm talking about. Try to alter that voice, and see people without judgment. It will free your mind up for more important things, like where to plant that native shrub to feed the local birds. What labels do you come up with? Do you like being labeled?

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The middle class author is emerging

I love to read Penelope's blog, until I don't anymore. Then a few months later, I read her blog again and love to read it. And this cycle repeats.

Penelope's Guide to Blogging | Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist

When I started blogging in November, I was just playing with social media, getting a better understanding of how they all relate to each other. Suddenly, my traffic doubled, and I started having fun.

I haven't picked a main theme yet, but do have topics I enjoy writing about. I'd write more about office politics, and management dysfunctions, but it might sound too real to people I work with who may read this blog. So for now, I pick a topic that interests me, and just dump my words on the paper.

Writing my blogs have been great for helping me get my thoughts down in a coherent format quickly, and I think my writing overall has improved. I have two books kicking around in my head, where they've been waiting for the right time to come out. A few weeks ago, I started writing one of them. I won't provide any teasers, but my honey loves me, and if it sucked she'd have told me when I read her the first chapter. But she said it was real good, so I will keep writing.

I know a literary agent, and he once said that in order for a book to be successful, it must be about dogs, self help, weight loss, sex, exercise, or business. We once sat on a sailboat during a sailboat race without wind, and tried to change the "or" to "and", coming up with a book that was about dogs, self help, weight loss, sex, exercise, and business. It was very hard to mold these topics into a story.

The other book bouncing around in my head is a business book, outlining how to perform specific processes in project management. I can probably get it on paper in a few weeks of part time work, and self publish. But one successful author of a business book (Peter Taylor) I corresponded with, provided me an outline he used to get a book deal, and invited me to write my idea in his format to submit to a publisher. He also said not to write the book until I had a publishing deal. I haven't done this yet. Indecision is the key to flexibility. 

Penelope would disagree with his wanting to use a publisher. Her New rules for self publishing blog post outlines the cold hard facts. Publishers help very few people get their books published. Self publishing is a perfectly viable path for writers.

Think of what MySpace and iTunes did for musicians. They created a marketplace for a middle class of musicians to gather a following, and sell their music. I really believe that self publishing, and digital distribution will do the same for writers. People who can write engaging and/or useful stuff, will be able to make a living writing. 

What do you think? Is self publishing a viable option? If I author a book, would you be interested in buying it? You'd probably want to know what it's about first, and I understand this. I promise it will be good.

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The value of free advice

A couple of nights ago, I was asked by someone I know to help her daughter with a college assignment. She had to interview a professional about their career. I have a job, so I guess I am a professional, so I was happy to help out. There were about 7 or 8 questions, and each one came in separately to my Facebook mail account. No, you can't see all of the questions or the answers, but I will share one with you.

The last question has been on my mind since the e-mail exchange. When I originally read it, I gave about 45 seconds thought to my answer, and then began typing. The question was "what advice would you give to someone starting out?"


It's a broad question, and can go in any direction. Is it career advice? If it's career advice, isn't it actually life advice? So after my 45 seconds of thought, I began typing. Here is the answer I gave:


"Blanket advice is hard to give, because everyone is different. So here is my blanket advice.

- If you want a stable career, choose finance, accounting, or economics. (Although I personally wouldn't choose any of these.)
- Learn how to network.
- Solve people's problems at work, and the opportunities will follow. 
- Don't burn bridges.
- Human Resources isn't there to help you deal with a bad boss. They are part of the company, and look out for the company's best interests.
- Find something you love to do, and be real good at it.
- Be your own person, and never compromise your principles - especially not for a paycheck.
- Live your life now, don't wait for some point in the future to start enjoying life.
- No one ever lay on their death bed wishing they spent more time in the office, so we can make the educated guess that you won't find your life's purpose working late.
- Debt sucks the life out of you, so save your money and pay for the stuff you want in life. Don't borrow money for a nice car, a big house (clarification - don't buy a house you can't afford), or an over-rated education. Paying off debt is slavery. (So are taxes, but that's for another survey.)
- Everyone will face failures, bad times, bad economies, and bad bosses. This is so you can identify the good times more easily.
- Be positive, everyone loves to work with positive people."


I can't make the claim that I personify all of them, but this is advice, not a mirror. So what do you think? Is this good advice? What would you offer up to the a person "starting out?"


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Determining when to take action

I have a focus group which provides advice on how to write better blogs. I refer to this focus group as "my honey". Yesterday the focus group pointed out that my previous blog, Life Lessons from an Erector Set, lacked a call to action. There was nothing the rare reader could do as the result of my post.

What separates us humans from the rest of the animal kingdom, is that we can change the channels on a television set, and we can contemplate what to do tomorrow. Animals live from moment to moment, reacting to what's around them. This is why we don't see animals protest for animal rights. Okay, part of the reason is that most animals eat other animals, but that's not the point. They are too busy sleeping, eating, and having sex. The astute reader is now trying to prove me wrong, and they are probably thinking of Charlie Sheen. But Charlie can plan who to have sex with tomorrow, as well as where, and then tweet about it.

So this got me thinking about how we determine when to take action, and what type of action to take. Project Risk Management is a framework, or knowledge area we can draw from. In a previous post, I discussed how our current government needs to apply portfolio management concepts to the budgeting process. A few days later, Governor Christie announced that he had identified key priorities, and has budgeted to address these first. I wonder if he reads this blog.

Many people in the general public apply a framework when they see that their cable program provider is about to remove their favorite channel, or that the NFL may not be playing next season. The massive fear they experience as a result of not having their favorite show on Tuesday night has them cowering in the corner, dreading the thought they will have to actually have a conversation with the other people in the house. Or they may be forced to read something from a book. They quickly call their smartest friend (referred to as a lifeline), and ask them who their Congressman is. If they are lucky, their friend is in the same district, knows the name, and provides the information. A call is made to the Congressman, threatening them with loss of their congressional seat if they allow the channel to be removed.

So let's pull the above scenario apart. The person is identifying a risk, and determining the probability of it occurring. Many people confuse possibility and probability. Something that is possible, is that an alien race will suddenly appear, and as a gift of friendship will cure cancer, pay off all of our mortgages, and give everyone free television connections. It is possible. But what we must do is look at probability instead of possibility. Is it probable that a philanthropic alien race will rescue us? If you think so, it's okay. We need people to keep us laughing in hard times. In the case of the cable television battle, the person has been convinced by the television infotainment wizards (generally labeled "news") that they will start losing their "right" to their favorite channel, or have to pay more to receive it.

After we identify the risk, and determine probability, we look at the impact the risk will have on us if it actually happens. In our example case with the television channel, the impact is that this person will be adrift on Tuesday nights, having to fend for themselves in terms of entertainment. They will be impacted, because they will need to surf the other 1,200 channels for an hour or two to find something else to watch. This is cruel. Can you imagine having to join the series "24" halfway through? Or another impact will be that they will pay more for their television signal.

Now our next step is to determine what to do about the risk. Here are the options we have when faced with a risk or decision.

• Avoidance - In the above scenario, the person would do the simple thing. They'd cancel their television connection, and find something better to do on Tuesdays. 
• Reduction - This is the option the person chose. They are trying to mitigate the issue by having their Congressman fix it to their benefit.
• Sharing - If the person decided to change service providers, they'd be transferring the risk. This is referred to as sharing, or insuring the risk. 
• Retention- Suck it up, and budget the money needed to pay for the extras. 

There is how you determine what to do when thinks are messed up. This is your call to action (or inaction).

If you are the focus group... I mean "in" the focus group, please let me know if this satisfies the need. And if you are a reader who enjoyed this post, please share using the clever social network buttons at the bottom of this post. Comments, questions, and derogatory remarks are always welcome.

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Striving for mediocrity, and why outcomes can't be guaranteed

No one wants to be in last place, but someone must. Being last has a stigma, and has caused many to get upset. Yet for thousands of years, these losers went on with their lives, and found areas where they could win. If they were bad at basketball, they may have focused on science. Some people with great potential in science may have become ditch diggers. Some people with no potential become politicians (I won't bother to link to the pitiful resumes online, you can find them yourself).



Back in the early 90s, I was attending an Infantry Basic Non-Commissioned Officers course. There were about 30 of us taking the course, and I knew many of the other soldiers attending. There were many days of classroom study and discussions, and some field work. This course was memorable for many reasons, one being that I contracted Lyme Disease from a tick that wasn't known to carry it at the time (I was diagnosed and treated early, and it has not returned).

One of the course requirements was to complete a night land navigation course. This module required each soldier to navigate at night through the woods to locate a placard attached to a tree, and at each one, refer to a cue sheet to determine a new direction and distance to the next placard. This was a timed event. I was surprised to hear that we'd be doing this in teams, and the instructors chose the teams.

On the night of the exercise, I was half of a two person team. Or was I 90% of a two person team? All other teams were 3-4 people. I looked at the person I was paired up with, and felt the fear of failure start seeping in. He was what we referred to as an "oxygen thief", or someone who was a waste of perfectly good food and air, at least in terms of their service in the military. (Although I later met TSA agents who were reservists, and I realized that I hadn't seen what a real loser looked like.) Throughout the course, he had many excuses as to why he couldn't run, walk, march, or do most anything else. His uniform looked like he just pulled it out of a duffel bag, and he kept misplacing his stuff. This couldn't be right, how did I get paired up with him?

After consulting with the instructors, they confirmed that the roster was correct, and I couldn't change teams. Of course anyone who knew me back then, knows I can be challenging in a discussion (okay, maybe that hasn't changed much). I had taken my share of unpopular positions in debating the instructors during class. I saw this team assignment as a payback for verbally dragging the instructors across the floor, and off the slippery slopes, and kicked myself for precipitating this.

When our time to start the land navigation arrived, my team mate and I headed off together. He had asked to lead to the first point, so I allowed him to do this. Each person knows how many paces on each type of terrain totals a kilometer, and most field soldiers wore beads on their vests to count the distance. As each kilometer was walked, one bead would slide down the rope. It is second nature to any good field soldier.

About halfway to the first point, SSG J. declared we had arrived, and began looking for the placard. I questioned him on the distance, and when he confirmed we walked the distance, I told him I thought it was farther. I had been counting my paces, and knew we hadn't arrived. He insisted, and wandered in the dark woods looking for the placard that didn't exist. I eventually convinced him to follow me, and we set off for the real location. After a short time, his poncho came untied, and then he started dropping stuff. He lost his flashlight, pulled a leg muscle, heard carnivorous wild animals, and asked if we should go back to the rendezvous point. He kept banging his legs on branches and cursing. The clock kept ticking.

A glance at my watch had me wondering if we should just admit defeat and head back. But that's not how I'm wired. There was a decision to be made, and I made it. I advised SSG J. to grab the back of my gear with one hand, and to not let go. He grabbed on, and I took off on the course. I dragged him through the course, in some places pulling him over downed trees by his straps. "We" completed the course within the cutoff time.

The soldiers who failed were given a retest. An instructor put a glow stick 100 meters into the woods, and the soldiers were sent into the woods to find it. They only had to say the color of the stick when they came out of the woods. The pinnacle of mediocrity had been achieved.

Everyone passed the course, and I was disgusted to see SSG J. on the promotion list ahead of people I knew to be much better leaders. Who suffers from this inequity? First the people who could have passed the course on their own, were now competing with a person who needed someone to pull them through. The soldiers this person eventually led were also victims of the equal outcomes the training tried to guarantee. If he couldn't do the basics himself, how could he lead others in accomplishing them? Luckily, this was before the war on terror, and hopefully he retired before his services were needed.

What this taught me, is that trying to guarantee an equal outcome is not a good approach to having a better organization (or society, for that matter). Each of us are born to a family, and some families have more than others. We each have different interests, abilities, and determination. How we apply ourselves to the challenges in life will determine the outcomes in our life. There is no law or policy that can change this, nor can we normalize the variables that we each experience. Illness, accidents, genetics, bad decisions, and sometimes the complete randomness of natural events will ensure that there is no equal outcome, even when we attempt to make all of the variables equal.

When we take away grading systems, we encourage striving for mediocrity. When we take away rewards, we encourage mediocrity. If we only have pass/fail, why put in the extra effort? If I were an "A" student, why should I put in more effort beyond what it takes to get a "C", if my "A" puts me on equal footing with those who attained a "C"?

If we can count on a handout to keep us from having to provide for the necessities in life, how can we expect people to apply efforts to better themselves, and in turn grow our society? If I have an idea that will change lives, and reward me financially, why should I bring it forward if the implementation of the idea will force me to hand over the majority of the reward to support others? This is how we encourage mediocrity, and lose innovation.

We are each individuals, and each of us have the right to pursue happiness. There is no right to find happiness. When we think that we are due happiness, we must remember that life isn't fair, nor is a bureaucratic government fair. Taking from one person to give to another is immoral. Individuals choosing to give to another is genuine.

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A simple way to have more money

My dad's brain was full of verbal quips, probably from Reader's Digest. He'd feel the need to share them with the family whenever he felt like it. "The early bird gets the worm", was one of his favorites. As I grew up, I'd ask him what the worm got for rising early. He never responded. Another of his favorites was "It's not what you make, it's what you keep", referring to money. It took me a few years to understand that one.

When I got out on my own, I was able to apply many of the lessons I learned about money, as well as gain my own experience through making mistakes. These mistakes are referred to as "stupid tax" by Dave Ramsey. I met my honey along the way, and before we married, we talked about money. We both agreed that it sucks to owe money, and we vowed to get out of debt, and stay out of debt. We focused on this goal right away, and quickly got on top of the expenses, and stayed there.

It's not what you make, it's what you keep. A person with a large income, can be poor from large expenses. A person with a low income, can be rich due to low expenses. The premise is based on financial wealth, but in reality richness is defined by our life, not the stuff we accumulate.

I hate getting rid of stuff, so I know the best way to combat this is to not get stuff in the first place. When I do get rid of stuff, I have a process I use to do this. We generate some cash offloading the unwanted stuff, and it starts to feel good to purge. Try it, you will find it liberating.

There are many ways to increase the amount of money you keep without having to skip meals or not pay your electric bill. In fact, saving money can even make you healthier. The following are some we use, and you can pick the ones you like.

Pack a lunch - Every week my honey makes a batch of something yummy, and we take it to work for most of the week. We also prepare small containers of veggie servings to accompany our main course. I like yogurt, so I buy plain low fat yogurt in a big container, and make 5 small containers containing a spoon of jam (or fresh fruit), and add a 1/2 cup of the yogurt to the top. Buy in bulk, and be creative. I eat the same portions every day, and just vary what goes in the container. A typical lunch for me is a container of yogurt with jam, a 1/4 cup of nuts, a main course from the big container, a hard boiled egg, and about 3-4 servings of fruit and veggies. This is how I maintain my boyish figure. Eating lunch out can easily cost $75 a week.

Buy generic brands - When I was growing up, generic food was in a white box with black letters, and the contents usually tasted like sawdust. Times have changed. Many of generics are from the same processor as the brand name.

Don't buy bottled drinks - It takes 1 liter of water to fill a 1 liter steel bottle. A steel bottle costs about as much as one trip to the movies, and you can drink from the same bottle your whole life, and bequeath it to your favorite child when you depart the planet. Drinking soda is just bad.


Bring a thermos, or suck it up until you get somewhere - There's a reason why "Price Sucks" and "Starbucks" rhyme. Purchase your favorite gourmet coffee for home, and fill a thermos before a road trip. Fill a travel mug for your commute. Wait until you get to a free/cheap coffee source if you must have it. If you are unemployed and stopping at Starbucks, please stop it. Now.

Get on the wagon - If you have to eat out, don't drink alcohol. The conversation is better, the food tastes better, and you will find the bill to be about half what you used to spend. Okay, you won't be nearly as funny, but you can handle that. If you have to drink, have an appetizer at home along with your nip before you go out. Or have a nightcap when you get home. Even Groupon can't match these savings.

Avoid using your car - It's great to ride your bike for exercise, but the real savings comes in when you use the bike to replace the car. Many trips you take in your car can just as easily be made by bike or mass transit. It's real easy to find parking for a bike, and you will experience the neighborhood in new ways. There's no reason to dress up like a superhero to ride, just get on the bike with what you have on. Unless of course you are in pajamas, then please change first. Walking is highly underrated. Try it, you will love it. I walk between buildings at work, and had people I work with, going in the opposite direction, stop and offer to drive me to the other building - on sunny days. The picture on the right of this blog's home page is from walking to another building, and finding out too late that the concrete on the sidewalk was still wet. Let's keep this our secret.

Use the free fitness center - It is a proven fact that gravity works pretty much the same all over the dry parts of our planet. So a 15 pound weight will weigh 15 pounds at the gym, as well as at home. With minor creativity, and a schedule, you can work out wherever you are. Avoiding the car helps you get your cardio in.

Have someone else pay the depreciation on your next car - A car is not an investment. An investment has an expectation that it will appreciate. A new car loses between 25-40% of it's value as soon as you purchase it. Car leases are the biggest ripoff out there. Your total life cycle costs are astronomical when you look at the total real costs associated with them. So buy used, and only a make and model that has a high reliability rating.

Install Compact Flourescent Light (CFL) bulbs - Don't laugh, we swapped out a few rooms in our old home, and our electric bill dropped dramatically. These bulbs are a little slow to get bright, but this works great for the mornings, you can turn the kitchen lights on and they wake up with you.

Accept your lawn for what it is - Stop spending money to create more work.

Decrease consumption - Make do with less. Eat 10% less than normal. Drive 10% less. Turn the thermostat in the money saving direction. It all adds up.

Buying stuff leads to buyer's remorse. Read the book Buyology, and you will see you are just a tool for the benefit of the marketers. Break the the chains that bind you. Change your focus, and you will be rich. The kind of rich that can't be taken from you.

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