There are some things we shouldn't measure

I had an epiphany last week while bike commuting. Actually, the epiphany took a few days to come out, so I'm not totally sure I can call this an epiphany. Maybe it was more of a realization, a slow crawl to a truth about life. When we measure something, we want to see the numbers move. We may want things to be bigger, faster, stronger, or longer. Or we may want them smaller, shorter, thinner, or slower. Our desire is to see improvement, regardless of whether the number is increasing or decreasing.

Does it matter if you measure it?

There's so much at work to measure. We track revenue, expenses, sales, hours, work days, vacation days, pages, widgets, and so many other items. We develop dashboards, scorecards, and sometimes exert lots of effort into building the underlying data structure, just so we can press a button and turn these measurements into an assortment of fruit candy colors. All so we can put a nice graphic in a slide presentation so we can proudly announce how we changed the numbers.

This all makes sense, because if we can't measure it, we can't manage it. This is a reality in so many parts of life. We apply a number, and suddenly, we need to track that number. In my personal life, I track my miles - running miles, bicycle miles, and even walking miles. I track miles on pieces of equipment that go nowhere, such as treadmills, rowers, and bicycles clamped to resistors.

For my bike commute, I ride naked. Not the me, the bike. The bike is naked, without any measurement device attached. I don't wear a watch. I guess in some ways I do measure the ride, I measure it in smiles, not miles.

My bike commute is much more enjoyable this way.There isn't an average speed to beat, a time to a get to a landmark, or minutes to shave off my ride time. There's just me, the wind, the birds, and the sky. As life should be. An extension of me, something to be experienced. Not something to be beaten.

What are you measuring in your life that causes you stress? What aren't you measuring that you should measure? Can you unplug long enough to experience the journey?

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Addressing a manipulative boss - disguised as a short story?

"Look at this. They're all gone. They must not have much work to do to be leaving this early." I tried not to show my confusion as my boss at the time surveyed the art department's abandoned institutional gray cube farm. "If they can all be out of here this early, I will decrease the head count. These people aren't committed."

He adjusted his tie with his thumb and forefinger, pinkie pointed out, as though he was sipping tea in a fine restaurant. He convulsed for a second, then abruptly turned, headed back to the soft glow of the end table lamp in his office. He was here to stay, and had furnished his office accordingly. I kept expecting to see a Persian rug delivered, but for now he stuck with the industrial gray carpet us plebes had. His lamp was to let you know he was someone. He had a lamp. We plebes had fluorescent tubes as our only light.

For a brief moment, I considered biting my tongue. That was a brief moment. I had just wasted over an hour with him in my office, discussing important business issues, like what his favorite sushi restaurant was. I'm all for extra effort, but I'm not for extra hours of anti-productive emptiness. "It's 7 o'clock, why should they be here?" I asked, my blood pressure rising, and my insides tightening as I waited for his response.

"Because this is their JOB! They can't provide for their families if they have no JOB!" He ranted, small globules of spittle cascading from his open mouth, his goatee giving him the appearance of a contrived character from an animated comedy. A face suddenly appeared down the aisle from us. The cleaning crew was already in the office, and someone emptying the trash cans a few rows into the cube farm peered warily around the corner, probably seeing if he should make a break for the fire escape before this descended into violence. When he realized it wasn't a fight, and no guns were about to be taken out, he walked across the aisle, tying a garbage bag, pretending not to notice us.

"This is a publishing company, not an advertising agency. People make choices in life, and every artist I know makes a decision early in their career. Do they want a family, or would they prefer the excitement of the advertising world? The people here chose a family. If they wanted to work past 7 at night, they'd have chosen a career in advertising." The words were out before I could catch them. Pure, unadulterated, and honest. There, chew on that awhile.

He stared back, unsure how to handle the situation. I looked back, sure that he was the problem in the organization, not the solution. "See you tomorrow" I said, as I turned and headed toward the elevator.

The next day, I had an invitation from my boss for a meeting that started at 6:30 that evening. I walked to his office. He wasn't in yet. I went back to my office. I repeated this every 15 minutes, wanting to get rid of the anticipatory stress I was carrying. The morning dragged on. I worked on projects, and underneath it all, I carried the tension of the impending conversation with me, the same weight as I carried every day there. Heavy, yet immeasurable. Like the after effects of a swift kick in the groin, not that I'd had one of those in years. It was there, not letting go. Keeping me distracted with the pain.

At around 11:30, just as I was about to go brave the wall of smoke to get outside for a walk to enjoy the sunshine, my boss wandered past my office. He was coming in early, at the crack of noon. This was typical. I took a deep breath, and straightened my tie. He was big on appearance. "Fred, do you have a second?"

He stopped, turned his head to look over his shoulder, and said "Can it wait for our meeting later today?" You mean tonight, don't you? This was an inside thought, not a sentence that left my mouth.

"No, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I have plans tonight, and can't stay after hours." I put a slight emphasis on "after hours", maybe more than was necessary, but that happens sometimes. "Can we meet today, during work hours?" I lightened up the emphasis, but it still came through.

"I have meetings all day, can't you change your plans?" He cold stared me. Now I was pissed off. That was rude. I was beyond being nervous. He continued on. "That's the only time I have available." He adjusted his laptop case, and looked toward his office, probably planning his escape from this random act of management he was being forced into.

I tried to hide my irritation behind the screen saver facial expression. I hoped it would work just this one time. "How about if we meet tomorrow first thing, I can come in early." I wasn't going to lose this one, he was just too oblivious to accept his impending loss yet.

"Gosh, I'd love to meet early, but I have breakfast with children every day. It's our ritual." Was that sarcasm, or did he have some intestinal distress while he talked? Either one was fine, because I just made Bingo, I hit pay dirt. He's going down. My brain quickly processed this tidbit, and came up with the perfect response.

"I totally get that, I'm all about family. See, that's why I can't meet after hours. I have dinner with my wife every evening. This is our time, a time for us to reconnect. It's what we've done for our entire marriage, and I have no intentions on changing this" I worked a smile into it, and used my soft library voice, the one I would use to ask "which way are the romance novels" if there were other patrons near the desk. At least if I read romance novels, that'd be how soft my voice was. I don't read them.

He twitched, and I could see I'd just overloaded the portion of his brain he utilized to win arguments with the maintenance staff. He was out of his league, on the slippery slope, and I had just given him a push disguised as a brotherly love tap. He was out of ammunition, the wind left his sails, pick your cliche, the discussion was over. "I'll look at my calendar and see what I can free up today." He never did. There wasn't anything to discuss. We never met after hours, I made it a point of coming in early to complete critical work, so I could deflect any urges he may develop to re-initiate evening meetings, or ambush my extra efforts with his dropping by to unload theories on why employees kept running their keys down his car when they left the office.

A few days later, I decided that this wasn't over, and I needed to put this issue to rest. I was in his office so he could regale me with stories of his meteoric rise in the advertising world, how he rescued every company he worked for, and how he would sleep in his office. I pretended I thought this was cool, and began to pity him for the things in life he chose to value. His two daughters and wife rarely saw him. Maybe they liked it that way. Maybe he liked it that way. But it was just wrong, fundamentally out of sync with what is important in life.

I waited about 45 minutes for him to pause in his story, and I quickly started with my topic. "Fred, I get the impression that being in the office is more important to you than productivity. It seems like face time trumps work time. If this is what you expect of me, to be here regardless of whether I have work to do or not, please let me know now so I can make decisions regarding my career path." He just sat there, his brain once again overloaded with confusion. He must have had everyone afraid of him throughout his career. Here I was, holding up the mirror, showing him for what he was. I wasn't going to play his game.

I continued. "If you are in any way dissatisfied with my productivity, please tell me so I can do what is needed so neither of us are disappointed. I hope you see by now that I will do what is necessary to deliver exceptional results, but I am not interested in sleeping in my office to show my dedication." Neither is my wife. I left that part out. Maybe I said it a little more pointed than that. Our minds have a tendency to smooth things over with time.

Fred picked his pen up, tapping it on his hand. He stared at the ceiling, then dropped the pen and leaned back in his executive chair. "No, that's not what I'm trying to have you do." His expression said something entirely different.

I won this battle, but the war would continue. It was the war for a life, and it had to be won. Losing was not an option.

Any resemblance to a person with a life, or without one is purely ... coincidental? You can determine if it's fact of fiction, either way, the point of the story remains the same.

Do you hold your ground when asked to do something that is against your principles? Or do you do what you are told to do, quietly seething, waiting for the chance to change the situation? Also, do you like this style of writing, a scene to make the point, instead of just an essay? Please comment below!

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When you're selling change, who's buying it?

I was reading an interesting article about the monetary system, and it contained a reference to how the kilogram is decreasing in mass - continuously. There's nothing that can be done to preserve the official kilogram measure, a hunk of iridium inside of three glass bubbles in France. It is decreasing in size - suck it up, you can't stop it. This got me thinking about change...

As soon as that shiny new car we just purchased is built, it begins its journey back to the elements it's made of. Carbon, plastic, water, or whatever. Entropy is all around us. Things fall apart. In course of a lifetime, many things grow. We see this in trees, kudzu vines, and the waistlines of Americans. At some point this growth ends, and everything begins to decompose. Life, and all that is around us is continuously changing. We as humans are continuously changing. We accept these changes, and continue to move forward in our lives.

A Soviet change committee

So why should we approach our jobs with an expectation that they won't change? Our jobs change, our organizations change, and we change. We learn more, find better ways to get our work done, and influence others, causing them to change. Yet we hear how much employees don't like change. I've often seen organizations go to great lengths to determine how the change can be packaged so it will be accepted by the employees. They think change is bad. They think change is scary. (umm, change is life). One organization I worked for bought everyone a copy of Who Moved my Cheese? As though we are all mice. Go ahead and move the cheese, the mice will still find it. Mice don't mind change.

In the course of my career, I've been employed in a variety of business structures utilizing many different revenue models. I've led many change initiatives, and focused on leadership in my MSM studies. What I learned is that there is never one correct answer in life. In spite of this, here is what I learned about getting buy-in for change:

• Fix what's broken - People can't stand doing things they consider a waste of time, or what doesn't produce tangible results. So listen to your employees and fix what's broken. Or better yet, let them fix what's broken. There's no better sense of satisfaction than showing up with a problem, and being asked to determine how to fix it. It's trust and empowerment rolled into one. Who doesn't want this?
• Don't tweak employee generated solutions - Studies show that when a boss makes changes to an employee's great ideas for change, the employee's support for the change decreases. It's okay to come back later and make more changes, but don't try to show how smart you are by tweaking it. 
• Give credit where credit is due - Don't be an idea thief. When someone comes to you with a great idea, don't run with it like it's yours. You will lose the employee's best efforts, and shut off innovative thinking across the team. People talk, and it will be about you. Being gracious, and giving credit will garner a level of support for your leadership that can't be purchased. 
• Communicate proportional to the change - Don't put a disproportionate amount of effort into the marketing of the change. If the change is that big, and took that much planning, you should have been making incremental changes all along to fix what wasn't working. Change should be intuitive, and doesn't need a lot of selling. Also, the more you communicate about it, the more training the people will think they need. Look at a smart phone as an example. The phones get more complex, and yet people figure out how to use them. They don't require slide presentations to figure out how to check on their Facebook friends from the new device. 
• Don't call it change if you don't have to - Some of the highest impact changes I've implemented in organizations wasn't called change. It was just something that made it easier for people to do their work. 
• Indecision is the key to flexibility - If you have a clear road map of exactly what must happen from now until you have reached the goal, then you are setting yourself up for failure. Be flexible, and if the changes aren't working, or you see that its really something else that's broken, be confident that changing direction will be completely acceptable, and a sign of your wisdom. Don't follow a plan just because a lot of hope and time were invested in it. Get lots of feedback from people around you, and you will succeed. 
• If it requires a complicated  plan to implement, it is probably too complicated - Good changes are intuitive. They resonate with the people doing the work, and aside from some communication of the change, it is easy to implement. If you need to develop lots of training material, then the change is probably not good. If it's not good, you won't get buy-in. 
• Foundations must be complete before the walls are built - I often see organizations try to implement Six Sigma before they have their processes documented. Or they adopt Agile methodologies, when their employees don't yet understand project management. One of my personal favorite project failures to observe (from afar) is when an organization tries to deploy an enterprise project management system for people who don't know anything about project management. So make sure that changes are completed in the right order, and the people who are expected to change have the skill set needed to make the change. 
• Know your people - Many of the people impacted by the change don't care how or why the change is coming. They don't want to be part of the solution. They just want to know how to do what they are supposed to do, and when they have to start doing it. This is okay. These are your solid performers, which are probably the cornerstone of your team. Don't force them to participate. Others may want to be involved in the implementation. Be happy for this, and include them. 
• Incorporate WIIFM - WIIFM means "what's in it for me?" I've seen some pretty interesting WIIFMs in my career. Don't tell someone that the company will prosper if they change. The next question will inevitably be "so what?" The best WIIFMs I've seen incorporate a better work life balance due to efficiency increases. 
• Make change a "win-win" - This is the foundation for the WIIFM, but I am referring to something else here. When we need to provide information to leadership to support decision making, don't send out a form. Find some way to provide your employees with a tool to work better, and use this to gather the data. This is the kind of change that is win-win. 

What interesting quirks have you observed related to change? Do you agree or disagree with my free advice? What would you add?

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Forget waiting around for inspiration, just start already!

I started this blog over 6 months ago as a way to experience how to leverage social media, build a platform, and to practice writing. About 3 months ago I signed up for a book writing class, and established a schedule to write. The class started about a month ago. Each morning I get up at 5:00 (okay, this morning I got up at 5:34) and head to my home office and write until about 7:00.

I'm not starting until I'm inspired

Some mornings I work on my book writing assignments, write a scene for the book, or write a blog. Some mornings I stare blankly at my monitor, waiting for the words to travel from my caffeine deprived head to my fingertips. For this blog, I maintain a list of topics that I add to when an idea hits me. Which is about 15 times a day. My topic list is about 3 pages long, and you'd think I could just wake up, take the first topic, and start writing. But life isn't that easy. You'd think I could scan the list, and have one topic grab me and inspire me to write. This happens often, and when it does, I go with it. Some of the best blogs in terms of traffic are spawned from this form of topic selection.

It's the mornings where I wake up, stare at the list, troll Facebook, push stuff around my desk, and sip my coffee that require the most work. This morning is one of those days. I'd rather sit and wait for the perfect topic to just pop out of my subconscious, forcing my fingers to tap away at the keyboard. Then I realize that today is probably the typical day for me. In fact, it's probably the typical day for most of us. We don't all start the day as a bubbling fountain of energy, with inspiration, and a choir of angels singing cover songs to light the way for us.

Instead, we likely get up, feel our way through the kitchen assembling our breakfast, maybe putting our own needs aside to serve someone else - like kids or cats, and then go with the rhythm of the day. We leave the house around the same time, go to the same job, do the same stuff, and then come home for the routine, and then go back to sleep. This routine carries on day after day, week after week, and year after year. Maybe we have ideas about how we can change all this, and do something different, yet we wait for the right time, the right place, and the right circumstances to act on what we really want to do.

My mornings are like this on many days. I think about falling back into the rhythm, leaving the list of topics to find its own way in life, let the list of ideas become stale, let the blog drop, or don't bother working on the book. it's easier to admit that inspiration is fickle, it may have moved down the street, compelling someone else to chase their dreams. I'm not worth the time.

And then I see these thoughts for what they are, and I see the lack of inspiration for writing in its full depth. I realize that inspiration is highly over rated. Our best inspiration comes from just getting started. As soon as we start doing something we love to do, inspiration will jump out from its hiding place, and propel us along. We don't need to wait, we only just need to start. We are more likely to finish if we start. Not starting is probably to blame for much of failure.

So this morning I just started. I wasn't sure where the words would take me, but after the first sentence was written, the rest just followed. Another blog is complete, and I can move on to the rest of my day - peeling and packing vegetables for our daily lunches for the week, watering our gardens, and getting ready for the rest of the day. Today's blog is complete because I started it. This is how much of life works.

What haven't you started? Where does your inspiration hide? Do you have any tricks for getting inspiration to join you on your quests?

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Work life balance and the negative impact of organizational heroes

Show me an organization that has members who can't unplug their cell phones for a week, and I'll point out the dysfunctions of the organization. I know, I'm using strong words. I can back this up with experience, so please read on.

So many people don't take vacation, and even if they take it, they spend a large portion of their time scanning their e-mail. Look around you the next time you are relaxing somewhere. Set your crackberry down, and actually look at people. Many are staring at their devices, ingesting some highly important communication related to world peace, or anxiously pecking at the lilliputian keyboard, firing off an e-mail about global crop shortages while sitting next to the pool in a swim suit.

More than half of the working population in America don't use their vacation days. A vacation for many workers is just an opportunity to work from somewhere exotic. What's with that? There aren't any do-overs for a missed life.

Look closely. No crackberry here.

In a previous blog post, I wrote of how I served four years in an Army Reserve unit that trained the leadership of National Guard and Reserve units. We were in essence consultants, tasked with helping units become better at making war - before they actually have to make war.

We had a technique that was always effective in identifying a broken unit. We looked for the hero. That one person who could do it all, and was counted on to do it all. We watched her run around the operations center, receiving incoming problems, as she fired back the solutions. Almost every unit had one of her. She was easy to see. Everyone lined up to feed from her energy and intellect.

We'd usually wait for a critical period, and we'd kill her. Just like that. Dead. It was a simulated death, but the impact was pretty much always the same. There'd be loud protests, appeals to our good senses, and sometimes outright begging. I've heard stories that some people would pray for a miracle, but I never witnessed this. We'd take the person off-site, get them some of that good two day old Army coffee, and not let them back into the operations center. The operations inevitably and quickly came to a grinding halt, and the units often failed in accomplishing their mission.

What they gained from this failure was knowledge. Every unit we did this to, learned a valuable lesson. If you don't have someone ready to step in for each key person, then you were setting yourself up for failure. Attrition planning isn't something to do when a retirement is announced months in advance. It's part of a good organizational plan.

This lesson also applies to you. Yes, you. The person with the crackberry, sitting by the pool, banging out an e-mail when you should be rubbing sun block on your partner's back, or teaching your child how to do a proper cannonball into the pool. If you are so important that you can't get away from work for a week or two without checking e-mail, you are setting your organization up for failure. That's right. You are not a good team player if your work can't be covered while you are out. Taking an unplugged vacation is a controlled test to see if your team is competent. If they contact you, then you may need to spend more time training them on your return.

The reality is that within a few days of your permanent departure (which will happen), your responsibilities will be absorbed by other people, and you will be blamed for whatever is wrong for as long as this is reasonable. Eventually your e-mail address will return an error to the sender. Your life at the organization will end. In six months, few will remember what you did at the organization. Your favorite stapler will have a new home.

There. How's that for perspective? Now go ahead, book that vacation. In fact, take two weeks in a row. Tell everyone you're headed to some island with an unpronounceable name, and even if they had Internet, they have no electricity, so there's no way to reach you. Your job will be there when you return. This can be a validation that you are great team player, and that the people around you are competent enough to keep things running while you are out.

No one is irreplaceable. Not even you. Now go prove it. Maybe while you're on that island, you'll rediscover how nice it feels to rub sunblock on your partner, or have it rubbed on you. Stranger things have happened outside of the office.

What is the longest vacation you've taken? Have you ever lost a job for taking vacation?

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Work life balance and a wretched commute

If you've ever traveled on a road, or even so much as seen a road, you must read Tom Vanderbilt's book "Traffic". It's an informative, easy, and fun read about how we transport ourselves from one place to another. It opened my eyes to many road use dynamics that changed the way I view driving my car, as well as how I drive my bicycle. That's right, drive my bicycle.

Tom Vanderbilt often writes for Slate, and a recent post brought back memories of my commute from our home (at the time) in Rockland County, NY, to Stamford, CT. I'd leave from either end of my commute with plans for what I'd do on my arrival. There'd be productive stuff for the "work" end of my commute, and fun stuff at the "life" end of my commute.

Some of these people are still
trying to get home from work

One particular commute home stands out in my mind. It was a gorgeously sunny, blue sky, low humidity day for my Friday drive. I skipped out a little early, filled with visions of a hike with my honey, followed by a relaxed dinner on our deck - heck, I'd even barbecue! I put the car in gear, and made my way to the interstate. I made record time all the way to the outskirts of Tarrytown.

As I approached Tarrytown, the cars slowed... and slowed more. They finally stopped. After about 15 minutes standing still, I shut off my engine and opened the windows. I eventually got out of the car. Occasionally, the other cars would roll forward. I'd just get back in the car, leave the engine off, and roll down the hill to close up the gap. Time passed. My phone rang. "Hi, what time will you be home?" my honey asked innocently. "I don't know", was my definitive estimate. "Where are you?" was her next question. I drew in my breath, and told her my location. She said she'd start dinner. There'd be no walk, and no barbecue on the deck.

A half hour later, I had moved about as far as one could throw the stereo of the musically challenged driver next to me, and my phone rang again. "How much longer will  you be?" she asked. "I don't know" was my answer. "Can you make a guess?" I provided a range of 1-3 hours. We talked a while, and realized our plans for the evening no longer mattered. I'd have a late dinner, and maybe we'd share a drink on the deck before bed. We were both disappointed. This wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last.

I'd taken the position less than a year before because it was a great career opportunity. It would provide me the opportunity to build experience leading higher level initiatives, and be a logical next step on my career path. It was a great company, with a very flexible atmosphere. As I interviewed for the position, I glossed over the commute. I could hack it. It'd be manageable, I could rationalize that all I was getting from the position would be a fair trade off for the unpredictable commute. All would work out. I'd overcome bigger challenges in my life.

Within a few weeks of starting, I was not liking a long commute while driving a stick shift in stop and go traffic. It wasn't just stop and go, it was a continuous practice of drag racing skills - starting and stopping continuously, trying to protect the space in front of us from the drivers who insisted on changing lanes as often as possible. Almost daily I'd see what happens when someone misses the brake pedal. There's be auto carnage every few miles.

I gained weight, lost patience, and increased stress. This carried through into other areas of my life. It was easier to ignore life, and grab a beer to decompress after a terrible commute. Wouldn't you agree that beer is the best choice after a long drive?

Within a year, I had become so turned off from the long commute, that I found a new position. I now have a 17 mile round trip commute, and am able to commute by bicycle a few days a week. I love the bike commute around Christmas. The cold air invigorates, and the ride home in the dark provides me the opportunity to enjoy the lights people put out to decorate their homes and businesses. There's a Zen-like feel to the ride. I combine something I have to do (commute) with something I love to do (drive my bicycle).

Many days as I pedal my bicycle over the Garden State Parkway, I see the density of car tail lights heading south, and envision the disappointment these lights represent. Many occupants of those cars are just like I used to be. A lonely commuter, with plans and a life. Instead of living the dream, they are sitting in traffic. Life is like that. We make a choice, and sometimes the choice makes sense mathematically, but the real costs can't be calculated in dollars. It can only be measured by the opportunity cost of what we lose in terms of living.

What is the value of having a fulfilling life? What was your worst commute, and how did you make it more bearable?

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Sometimes the best defense is a good offense

I learned a valuable lesson while the First Sergeant for an Army National Guard infantry company several years ago. An infantry company has around 100 soldiers, and generally has some extra duties that are assigned to a few select soldiers in the unit. The soldiers in these roles are exempt from most cleaning details, since they would perform their duties while everyone else was cleaning weapons and equipment on our return from training.

Dealing with difficult colleagues

One critical role is the retention NCO. The soldier in this role is responsible for convincing people nearing the end of their enlistment to reenlist. Our retention NCO wasn't doing his job. I would often ask him who was up for reenlistment, and he rarely knew. I'd often see him hanging with his friends from other companies, and not with our soldiers. We had a few conversations about it, and what my expectations of him were. Nothing changed.

So one day I relieved him, and assigned a new person to the role. A short time after I did this, the soldier I relieved came into my office, and said that many people in the company told him I relieved him because of his race. He was thinking of filing a racial discrimination complaint. I was surprised, to say the least. The vast majority of the soldiers in the unit were minorities. I replaced him with another soldier from the same minority, not that this mattered. He went on to level additional accusations, and stated that if I reinstated him as retention NCO, he wouldn't file the complaint.

I asked him to sit down in my office, and closed my office door. I then picked up the phone and started to dial the battalion sergeant major, my immediate supervisor on the NCO side. As I dialed, I thanked him for bringing this issue up, and I told him I looked forward to the investigation. Would he like to talk to the sergeant major first, or should I relate the story for him? His face went slack, and he quickly back-pedaled, saying that everything was fine. I hung the phone up, and reiterated that he was replaced for poor performance, and if he thought I had acted inappropriately, he should file the complaint. If he didn't file the complaint, he should shut his mouth and do his new job. He was now an infantry fire team leader. The issue disappeared.

The lesson? Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. People will sometimes use the threat of an accusation to gain an upper hand in a given situation.

Fast forward a few years, and I was working at a company where a guy I interacted with on a daily basis had poor social skills. He continuously erupted at me (and most people) in open office areas. My manager mentioned that my issues with this guy - let's call him Derk (rhymes with Jerk) - was causing tension in the office. I asked if I had ever been unprofessional when dealing with Derk. I was told no, but I needed to resolve the issues. We were both at the same level, so I didn't get why I was being asked to resolve this, but when I am assigned something, it gets done.

The next day I asked Derk to meet with me in an office, and with the door closed, told him how much I enjoyed working with him. I valued his skills, and thought it would be best if we didn't engage in any disagreements in the public areas of the office. Derk then proceeded to tell me that he didn't like me, never would, and I should leave the company. I'd never last there anyway. He related how he is involved in all down sizing decisions, and would make sure I left the company anyway. I thanked him for his candor, and left the office.

I walked to my boss' office and related what I had done to resolve the issues, and what Derk's reaction had been. I then asked for advice on how to manage this issue, since my positive confrontation of the issue had failed. I was met with a face that looked like a screen saver. There was no help offered for the situation I was in. My boss then confessed that Derk was a jerk, and told me not to worry about it. Maybe knowing this up front would have guided me to modify my approach. Derk's stock began to fall.

I went on with my work, and a few months later Derk left the company after almost a decade there. I not only noticed that my job satisfaction increased, I also noticed that the office attitude in general became more positive.

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Sometimes we are used by our bosses to do the hard part of managing difficult people for them. But this latter topic will be covered in a future blog post.

How have you dealt with office conflicts? What is your favorite approach to dealing with difficult colleagues? What is your worst failure in terms of managing a conflict?

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You can't out run stress

I've been monitoring an interesting topic on LinkedIn. Harvard Business Review used their group to ask readers to provide what appeared to be very simple advice: HBR wants your tips for managing stress! I intended to respond later that day. Later that day, there were several hundred responses. I decided that with that many responses, my opinion probably wouldn't add much to the discussion. As of today, the number of responses exceeds 800. I quickly skimmed the responses a few times, and saw that few people who responded to the request understand stress.

Think about physical stress. Let's pretend that your posture is causing your shoulders to be sore, and this in turn is making your neck hurt. The next logical step may be to visit the doctor, and have medicine prescribed to remove the pain. Just go with me here... there is a point to this. Maybe the doctor also provides us with a neck brace so we don't have to cause additional stress to the muscles. We return to work, comfortably numb, and continue to work. The physical pain is no longer an issue, because we've treated the symptoms. What we haven't done, is treat the cause. The cause in this case is your posture. If you treated the cause, your symptoms would go away. It's that simple. By treating the symptoms, we have allowed the stress to continue, and we can expect the damage to increase.

We've all been stressed at one time or another. Maybe we have an overwhelming sense of too much to do, or we have deadlines looming and it looks like we may deliver late. Or we end up working for a boss who has unrealistic expectations, and we are being pressured to do the impossible, such as giving up our home life for "the cause". Stress sucks. It keeps our blood pressure elevated, precipitating heart disease, unhealthy lifestyle choices, and a poor diet. It sends many people to the liquor cabinet, and keeps them glued to the television, watching escapist shows that in turn destroys productive hours that the person could have invested doing something meaningful. 

We are told by many experts that exercise is a great way to deal with stress. I'm not sure how that works. So if I have a crappy day, I'm supposed to put on my Vibram Five Fingers, and run a few miles? When I come back, all will be well. Or I can go to the gym, run on the treadmill while watching a 24 hour infotainment channel, and when I am done, I will be sweaty and the stress will be gone? If only this were so. No matter where you go, or how fast you run, there you are. Always there, stress and all. Exercise may help us sleep better and keep us physically healthier, but it doesn't remove the stress. It can also be helpful to provide us the space and time we need to identify the stressor and formulate a plan of action. But exercise alone won't solve our problems.

So how can we rid ourselves of stress? In my experience, the only lasting way to remove stress is to address the cause of it. In some cases we know what it is, and we're able to utilize tactics to change the situation. Other times, we may not be able to remove the cause of the stress, so we must resort to a different approach. We can shift our perspective, and by shifting our perspective, the stress no longer means anything. Or we can remove ourselves from the situation causing the stress, often by changing jobs.

A simple planning tool for managing stress

The above flow chart isn't something we should run through in an hour, a day, a week, or even a month. Earlier in my career, I may have quickly made it to the bottom terminator "Form an exit plan". Over the years, my perspective has changed, and with this change, I am more likely to utilize discussions with peers (or my honey) to make sure I am accurate in identifying the stressor. I also invest more time in shifting my perspective. 

Shifting perspective is a rich topic, and one I will delve into on future blog posts. It is truly the key to enjoying our lives. As humans, we often latch onto something negative, like a terrier holds a sock. We can't unlock our teeth from it. Stress originates here. Where our teeth meets the sock. Why don't we let the sock go?

What are your tips for managing stress? (Just kidding. We know there's only one way to manage stress.) Have you ever found yourself stressed, and as a result, made a poor decision that had a long term impact on you and your life? This blog supports anonymous posts, so no worries that you will be "outed".

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Weekend Compost - because life isn't all about work

This past week didn't see a whole lot of progress in our gardens due to the rain. On Saturday I was able to complete the installation of the electric fence around our garden. I waited patiently to see a tree rat (squirrel) get stunned by the low amperage pulse, but they seemed to sense my intent, and avoided the wires. I will take apart and store the cold frames this week. 

Safe inside the electric fence

Our garden now has basil, cilantro, carrots, beets, a few varieties of tomatoes, peppers, peas, tomatillos, lettuce, and a few other vegetables. We have some asparagus on the way, I will complete our planting after the asparagus are in. Some of the stuff to go in after the asparagus will be zucchini, cucumber, squash, beans, and ... can't remember the rest of the names. 

My honey was able to find a whole bunch of plants for our small fish pond, and picked up a small school of algae eating fish to accompany the 3 goldfish she already had in there. She also brought home so snails to keep the algae under control. We noticed a family of Chipmunks have set up home in a gap between the pond and the soil. I'll need to find a way to get them out of there. They are prolific little critters, and are everywhere on our property. 

One of the witch hazel we planted over a month ago didn't make it. The garden center, Rohslers,  thinks the shrub may have been jostled too much, damaging the roots. They are replacing it free of charge. I hope it matches the other two for size and cultivar. 

We added a couple of Adirondack chairs to the front yard last week, so we can have our tea at night while viewing the Oradell Reservoir. We're not quite lake front, but in the dark, the security fence is hardly noticeable. 

We are expecting our bee hive to arrive next month. It was supposed to be in last week, but they are delayed. In the meantime, the white clover I worked into the front lawn is thriving, so the bees should have at least one area with plenty of pollen to use for making honey. 

Presby Gardens, Montclair, NJ

My in-laws threw us a very nice 15th anniversary party on Saturday night. It was nice to relax and enjoy everyone's company for a few hours. We stopped at Presby Memorial Iris Gardens in Montclair on the way there. The Iris are about a week or so from prime, but we were able to enjoy the sunny weather and many of the flowers that are in bloom. 

What did you do in your gardens this weekend? What do you do with your life, the part of work life balance that isn't work?

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Non-smokers' comp time

Several years ago, I worked in a customer service department for a small company. We had many smokers, and several times a day, they'd all wander outside to enjoy a smoke. I'd keep working. So one day when they went out, I opened my desk drawer, pulled out a bicycling magazine, put my feet on my desk, and started reading. My boss walked in, and asked "what are you doing?" I slowly looked at him, leaving the magazine open on my legs, and said "I'm taking some non-smoker's comp time". He gave me the look. You know the one I'm talking about.

I'm all for a person's right to smoke cigarettes. I applaud them for having the fortitude to stand outside in all weather, often without protection from the harsh elements, shielding the glowing ember from the ice packed northern winds. They are the kind of people organizations need. Their focus on maintaining an appropriate level of nicotine in their system is the stuff success is built from. All smokers reading this blog are suddenly craving a cigarette. It's okay, head out and have it. This blog will be here when you get back.

It seems that the more stressful the environment is where I work, the more people smoke. Some days I'd head out of the office for lunch, and there'd be a crowd of people smoking. They looked like the same people who were smoking when I walked past the entry door a short time before. When I came back after lunch, the same crowd was there. Or at least they looked the same.

Hey Buddy, can you spare a match?

A friend once said that he smoked so he could keep up on what was happening across the office. Many of the administrative professionals who supported the leaders smoked, and they'd swap gossip between deep inhales of their chemically treated, dried weed. He knew when down-sizing was about to happen, who was nailed for downloading porn, and who was pilfering office products. His smoking was a more personal form of LinkedIn, maybe he could start a new networking site, and name it SmokeIn. But no one would visit the site, because every time someone mentions a cigarette, smokers feel the need to have one. It's okay, go ahead and have one. This blog will be here when you get back.

One very hectic day at Dysfunctional, Inc, I looked outside and saw the gorgeous weather. The smokers were really enjoying it - as much as one can enjoy getting fresh air while smoking. My team was all busy, head down and getting the work done. It was a Friday at around 3:00. I walked out into our cube area, and called my team into my office. After a few minutes, they were patiently huddled in the office, wondering why I called them in. Was the gig up? Were we being outsourced?

"Do any of you smoke?" I asked, already knowing the answer to my question. No one answered affirmatively. I went on "Okay, since none of our department smokes, I feel it's only fair that we implement a new departmental perk. It is called non-smokers' compensation time. Starting right now, I want everyone to look hard at what you're doing. If it must be done today, please do it. If it can wait until Monday, then I'm asking you to pack up your stuff, and get out of here. Do this in small groups, without drawing attention to yourself." It took a few seconds, but the grins slowly started to appear. "Do you mean we can leave work now?" was the first question. "What part of what I said wasn't clear?" I replied. "I'll be here finishing up quarterly financial reports, and won't be taking attendance. Thanks for your hard work, and get out of here".

Within 15 minutes, the office was empty. We utilized non-smokers' comp time that summer. We kept it quiet, some perks should be outside of the process.

I hereby declare that anyone reading this blog is free to leave the office early today. Unless you smoke. You can just go outside and light one up. See you in 10 minutes for the last couple of paragraphs!

Have you utilized any motivational techniques that didn't comply with organizational policies? What were they? Did your employees end up more productive, or less productive? Please comment at the bottom of this blog. 

Disclaimer: I smoked for years. I quit decades ago, and still occasionally dream about smoking. I know how tough it is to quit, and I know how much smoking impacts health. My best advice is to just quit. Cold turkey. You are stronger than the marketing. If you don't want to quit smoking, it's okay, go have a cigarette. I remember how I felt when I smoked.

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Weekend Compost - The males produce thicker and larger spears

My original intent was to do a "Friday Compost" (I call it this because the main stream news is rotten to read, and this is a great alternative) every Friday. But I suddenly found myself extremely busy, and then Blogger.com started having issues this week. I was also generating huge spikes in readers when I started blogging about work life balance. Based on work life balance popularity, and the fact that my gardening occurs on the weekends, Friday Compost will now be called Weekend Compost, and be the garden chronicle. I will write and post as I get time on weekends when I have something to write about. I'd rather garden than write about it.

Gifts from making lunch

Most of our vegetable seeds germinated very well (thanks Door  Gunner!). I moved a few of the lettuce to the garden last weekend, and am leaving the softer plants under the cold frame until next weekend. The carrot ends I saved while putting together lunch a couple of months ago have sprouted and are growing. See the results in the pics on the right.

There are so many vegetables we purchase that have all we need to grow them again. By doing this, we get more bang for our shopping bucks! Some examples of regrowable vegetables are potatoes, carrots, onions, scallions, and many more I am probably not thinking of. What did I miss? Add your favorite grocery store gifts to the comments below.

Four of the gifts have taken root
(the ferns in the black pots are the carrots)

We are anxiously awaiting our bees. A friend ordered a few hives, and decided she only wanted two, so we are hoping to get one hive very soon. My honey's bee keeper suit arrived last week, and she looked pretty awesome (and sexy) in the white suit with the head net. Maybe she'll let me post pictures of her in it once the bees arrive.

My "big" project for this weekend was to install a critter fence around the garden. We have a very large chipmunk and squirrel population, and they are wards of the yard, eating all they can get. If only I could convince the chipmunks that squirrels taste good, and vice versa. After much research online, we settled on a Mr. McGregor's fence kit. It came in quickly, and I was able to install it in about an hour. So much for a big project. I still need to dig in the edges of the plastic, and remove more grass for the veggie garden. I also need to move the lettuce from the temporary cage on the left, into the garden. Okay, so I measured wrong the first time around. The bird feeder will also find a new home.

I am a man who reads instructions

We spent part of Saturday taking part in Garden Conservancy 's Open Days. We've participated in this for years. It is a great way to see local gardens, and we always leave with inspiration we apply at home. As we left one site, a home owner nearby was selling loads of perennials in pots. We filled my honey's Miata with so many plants that I had to peer through the foliage of a Day Lilly as we headed home. Pictures of the plants will follow at some point.

We just ordered Asparagus and more Rhubarb for our gardens. We never realized that there are males and females. For the sake of any potential Asparagus social activities, we were going to get a gender mix of 50/50 males to females. As we read more about Asparagus, we found that males produce thicker and larger spears, since they don't produce as many seeds. That was the clincher. We purchased males, since we wanted a more prolific plant in terms of food production.

Looks like the rain is easing up, time to get back to gardening...

Can we train our neighbors to fetch sticks?

This blog was originally posted yesterday, but Blogger went down, and took this post with it. If you already have this in your reader, I apologize for the extra post.

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All I wanted to do was spend a quiet afternoon working on our gardens. The weather was great. I was in the right mood, and the soil was calling my name. Max wasn’t sure digging was such a good idea, and decided he needed to scold me. As I walked from the house to the garage, Max ran back and forth, loudly protesting my presence. Maybe he resented the fun I was having, or maybe deep down inside he wanted to be the one digging in the dirt. Regardless, he protested loudly. I could handle Max making noise, it's what a dog does.

What I had a hard time understanding, was the multi-generational choir of noise directed at Max. Max is part of the family next door, and was visiting his owner's parents. As soon as Max started to bark, the cries of protest began. “Max, stop barking!”, “Quiet Max!”, “Sorry Bob, Max hates men!”, “Honey, shut that dog up!”. As I said, Max didn’t bother me. The family yelling bothered me. I could ignore the dog, but the tension level inside of me increased as the choir was hitting it's crescendo. I began to think that maybe I’d be better off hand splitting next year’s firewood instead of turning soil and sowing vegetable seeds. I didn't want to transfer the angst to the vegetables.

I decided to go ahead and turn over soil anyway. As I worked, I thought about situations people find themselves in during their life. We may see someone barking about something that upsets them. Their barking is enough to raise our tension level, and suddenly we are caught up in the drama created by someone else, and think we need to jump in and bark with (or against) them. Our attitude is directly impacted by someone else’s attitude. As we give in to the urge to bark along, we may suddenly find more people join the barking.

In some situations, barking is effective. If we witness a crime being committed, it's in our own best interest to collectively bark. The more noise we make, the more likely the crime will stop. But in most areas of our life, there is little reason to bark. Barking can quickly grow until it is just noise, and the noise alone becomes the reason to bark. Many forget the initial reason they started barking. Suddenly everyone is barking, and no one can be heard.

We can only control ourselves, and by controlling ourselves, we can influence others. Max barking at me didn’t get me to stop digging in the dirt. My neighbors and their family barking at Max didn’t get Max to stop barking. Was there a better way? Maybe our efforts should be focused on finding solutions, by identifying the issue that caused the barking, and making that go away.

I remained calm as I continued to think through the life lesson. I remembered times at work when people complained about their workload, yet never did anything to address it. Being a guy and wanting to fix things, rather than commiserate, I often had the urge to say "if you'd put effort into doing the work, instead of walking around complaining about it, you'd be a lot better off". I also wondered if they ever talked to their boss about the work inequity they were experiencing. Complaining to the crowd won't resolve these issues. Compelling others to complain with them won't resolve the issues. It would have been in everyone's best interest to not entertain the complaints, and move the person along to another topic. I found that if I changed the subject enough times with the complainer, the person would stop bringing the issue up with me, and move on to others. If everyone would do this, the complaints would go away, and maybe the person complaining would address the root cause of the issue.

After about an hour, the choir of barking continued. My tactic wasn't working. So instead of ignoring the choir any longer, I addressed the choir - nicely (really). I called through the hedges, “Max isn’t bothering me. He started barking because he was excited. He would have lost interest in me very quickly. When you started yelling at him, he thought you were helping him bark at me. So he got excited to see that he was doing the right thing. The proof that he was right in doing this, is that others were joining him in the barking - he truly can’t understand English - so he barked more. How about if we all try ignoring him, and see if he settles down?”. To be honest, I wanted to say the "English" part, but left it out. Our neighbors are great. Max continued to bark, and I imagined the family cocking their heads, and looking quizzically at the shrubs.

This started a conversation over the fence at the end of the hedgerow. I showed the neighbors our cold frames, the seedlings we started, and talked about our gardens. Miraculously, Max quieted down, I put my hand over to say hello, and he sniffed and licked it. Game over. No need to bark now. I was part of his pack, and as such, part of his choir.

I’m sure Max will bark the next time he comes over, but am confident that if we change our behaviors, he will grow tired of the role he assumed he has - barking. I’m just not real sure the family will grow tired of the role. Just as it’s in the nature of Max to bark, it may be their nature to yell at Max. I may have to refine my approach to creating peace in the neighborhood. Do you think I can get the family to fetch sticks? This will keep them occupied, and Max can hang out with me and watch. "Look Max, Grandma just knocked over little Timmy to get ... oh never mind, you don't understand English."

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Find the rhythm in your day

Rhythms are recognized in all living things, from the fungi growing under the trees in the woods, in all plants, animals, and us humans. These rhythms are referred to as circadian rhythms, and are an important aspect of life. Each human is unique, and although we are almost all wired to sleep at night (ask anyone working the night shift about this), and work during the day, each of us has unique aspects to our individual rhythm.

Rarely do we control our own life, or at least we may not think we can. (One area we can't control, is the imposed change in our clocks twice a year by Daylight Savings Time.) What I have found, is that by utilizing careful observation, realizing gains in self awareness, and flexibility in our planning, we can help organize our days to take advantage of our natural rhythm. Or we can fight it, and feel like we are not living right.

Click the link "circadian rhythms" in the first paragraph to explore this graphic

Over the years, I've learned some basic things about myself. My bed time varies, as do my daily activities, but I do always get up at 5:00 AM on weekdays. I find the morning to be a very productive time. A "me" time that is part of what I consider a very fulfilling life. My mornings are spent writing this blog, reading the news, carrying out the compost, and consuming coffee. I will sometimes exercise in the morning, but this is generally a seasonal change in my rhythm.

I know I am best at tackling my tough issues between around 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM. Knowing this, I tend to schedule the meetings I facilitate during this time period. I find that a meeting tackling tough issues too late in the day, or too early, will make it difficult for me to exercise the patience required to stay totally engaged in it. There are times I can overcome my late day sluggishness with caffeine, but this is like borrowing time. It is only good for so long.

My mornings at work are generally focused on short term plans (1-2 days) for initiatives I manage, and organizing my day. My late afternoons are a continuation of the morning, with more administrivia - such as replying to e-mails, and looking at my longer term calendar. If I bike commute, my ride home usually has me arriving in our driveway ready to dig in the dirt, or split wood. I love to eat dinner with my honey, followed by a good solid workout, and then evening tea while reconnecting with my honey for a couple of hours. The period at the end of the day is usually perfect for reading a book, followed by sleep. If the book is good, I may extend my awake time. And the next day the rhythm starts again.

There's a certain comfort I find in rhythm. There may be a certain amount of chaos all around me I can't control, but what I can control is how I react to the chaos. Acknowledging our rhythms affirms our strengths. These are not weaknesses; no one can be all things to all people - or to all issues. Our rhythm is our strength, and I see many people fight their rhythm as they appear to slowly degrade.

Do you acknowledge your rhythms, and leverage the strengths of them? Do you have a favorite time of day to do certain things? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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For me, I 

Organizational Culture - balance between effectiveness and likability

I've worked for a variety of organizational structures in the course of my career. Something I've noticed, is that cultures vary from one place to another. There are tons of books out there explaining culture, how to pick and create the culture you want, and the importance of being in an organization with a culture that fits your work style. There are 263 books on Amazon.com that are about organizational culture. Don't read them all, I will summarize culture for you in this one blog.

I developed this theory one night while on a business trip, sitting in a hotel room, working on my masters. Culture is a continuum. On one side is "likability", and on the other is "effectiveness". Each organization is located somewhere on this continuum. The closer an organization gets to one side, the farther they get from the other side.

In the example above, I am using two organizations to show how the continuum works based on my experience. On the right, is the Army while I was mobilized. On the left is big book publishing before the Internet dramatically changed how they must do business.

The Army placed a higher value on individuals being effective than it did on individuals being liked. As a high performing organization, a unit would have high morale coupled with high effectiveness. The reason an organization can have both of these, is because the culture supports the enforcement of norms. Everyone knows how to act, and what is acceptable group behavior. If someone steps outside of the acceptable group behavior, anyone on the team will confront the person, and guide them back. I witnessed this in action many times, and rarely saw someone hold a grudge as the result of being corrected. This is how the culture worked.

In publishing, the focus was on being liked. When confronted with a decision related to a project, it was generally acceptable to either extend a deadline, hire more resources, or change the scope to meet the output. Rarely did I witness anyone be pushed to be effective. The value of the individual was how they interacted, and how nice they were. Everyone likes to work with nice people, but when it comes to getting stuff done, it was often difficult to say to someone "you had a month to do this 1 hour activity, why do you need another week?". That would be rude. It was better to hand wring, commiserate, and implement an alternate plan.

When starting at a new organization, it is very important to arrive on the left side of the scale, and determine where on the continuum the organization operates. Once you determine this, start working your way right until you are assimilated into the organization. If you start your new job on the right side of the continuum, and the organization is way on the other end, you risk damaging relationships. In the worse scenario, you may generate a "t-cell response" and be treated like an organizational germ. Now that isn't fun.

What other factors impact culture? Is there a vertical line to add, or additional aspect that is at the macro level?

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When it's your time to go, it's your time to go

I used to see a former colleague - I'll call her Terry - enter the office in the morning. I rarely saw her leave at night. The reason I always saw her, is that my office was across for the cube farm she worked from. Well, actually, she did part of her work from the cube farm, apparently lots of her work was from home. She was hard to miss when she arrived at the office. Her hand truck, with milk crates attached, and papers spilling from it drew my eyes from whatever I was doing.

When our employer at the time won several awards for being "a great place to work", many in the media speculated that since we were a public company, private equity organizations would be looking at how they could get rid of the "fat" that was being used to make it such a great place to work, and pocket some big money.

Suddenly, our employer woke up from the sugar high of good times, and decided it didn't want to be taken over. To avoid it, they had to turn utopian "Wonderful Worklandia", a great place for all people, into a lean and productive organization. Sadly, Terry was one of the first round who were fired. All of those trips she took, laden like a Sherpa with her necessary work, was all for nothing. Whatever she was working on, it wasn't really all that important. The time she stole from her family - nope, not important. At least she had a hand truck and some milk crates at the end of the day. Unless they were company property, in which case they probably ended up in the mail room, where there was a legitimate use for these cargo tools.

A couple months later, as the workload increased on the remaining people, a colleague came to my office, slinking in, trying not to be seen. "Hey Bob, can I tell you a secret?" He really wasn't waiting for an answer. "I'm giving my notice. Wait until they hear I'm leaving. This place will be so SCREWED!". I leaned back in my chair, pen to mouth, and said "Dude, I hate to break the news to you, but 5 minutes after your name is out of the Outlook Global Address List, people will forget who you are". He looked like I slapped him. "No, you don't understand, I carry the workload for my department.". He left the company, a week later, no one remembered what he'd done there.

A few years later, I was working for a company in the trough of dysfunction. It was private equity backed - the money grabbing, "where's my pile of dough" private equity. When I showed up, the person leading the company had a mandate to build a dynamic and growth-oriented organization. It was an exciting place to be. We were movers and shakers. There were more smart people running around that place than I ever worked with. The collective intelligence there could have solved the problems in the Middle East, ended hunger, and cured cancer. It was an exciting time in my career.

Then one day, it may have been a Monday, or a Tuesday, but it doesn't matter, a small team of even smarter people from our head office showed up. They had occupied several conference rooms and most of the HR area before anyone came to the building. As I settled into my office, several of my employees came in with the look of fear on their eyes. "What's happening? I just heard Person Leading Business Unit was fired, so was entire Department of Really Smart People, as well as the entire Department of Even Smarter People".

I was having my own hard time with what I had seen, and realized this wasn't the time to be motivational. It was infantry time, get in the foxhole and wait it out (not that I ever have done this in real life). "I don't know what's happening. But whatever it is, the decisions are already made, and if we are getting cut, there's nothing that worrying will do for us. I'd recommend you go to your desks and start working. Don't gawk, don't get sucked into any protests in the aisles, and we'll know soon enough what the plan is." I made a quick round of our area and provided this advice to the rest of our team.

At the end of the day, there was loads of empty office space. Employees who had invested their life's work, as well as new people who were full of hope for our collective future were sent packing. Some of them cried loudly, wailed, and threw their useless high performance awards into the hallways. Some of them had collections of house plants, pictures, yellowed creativity awards from decades gone by, and drawers full of important stuff that was now headed to the recycling bin. It was a sad day, but the people remaining were full of a new kind of relief. We made the cut. We were worthy of keeping our jobs.

For many people, they were suddenly moved from working in a large department, to leading a small department. There were lots of opportunities for these people. Some made it from manager to director, which is a very large move. There are way more managers than directors, and the competition was very tight for the positions. But not that day. That day directors were made. I was already a director, and within a week or so, my span of control had widened.

Cedar Waxwings add a new
dimension to meetings

Things settled into a new normal. At least for a short time. Then one day, the new business unit leader pulled out his machete (figuratively speaking), and began to whack vice presidents. As this happened, my reporting structure was moved from one person to another. One day, my newest boss was in my office talking to me about project management. She suddenly looked at her watch, and said "I have to run. I have a meeting with Big Boss. I'd like to come back and finish this discussion afterward. See you in a little bit!" She hustled out of the office. I never saw her again. By that time, the leadership learned not to let people pack their offices during work hours. They returned after office hours with security and a human resources person to pack their desk. I missed working for her, even though it was only a week or so that we had the pleasure. Actually, the pleasure I derived from the experience was totally self-serving. Her office had a large pine tree outside of the window, and as she dragged out tattered and time-tested cliches about business management, I could see Cedar Waxwings frolicking in the tree. Those were great meetings. I love a good view of a Cedar Waxwing.

When you work in an office where career death is all around you, there comes a time when you realize that no matter what you do, your time is coming. As soon as you ran out of ideas, or your salary looked too high,  WHAM! your were done. Used up, and out back with the recycling bin. Stoicism is one way to defend our minds from this.

I never saw it coming. I had a meeting on my calendar with Big Boss. It was in a conference room, and only 15 minutes long. The subject of the meeting was missing, or so innocuous that it was unmemorable. I arrived a minute early, with my pad and pen, taking a seat facing the door. Right on time, Big Boss walked in, with HR Tool right behind him. HR Tool was a friend, and I knew how tough her job was. Firing people on a regular basis can't do much for your spirit, although I will say that Big Boss always looked titillated on firing days.

I'm not one to suffer fools, and don't like a drawn out speech. I also don't sit well, so I spoke first. "I guess I know what this means, you're here to fire me." HR Tool nodded solemnly on the surface, but I am sure she felt some sense of relief that it was already stated, and she still had a job. "I'm disappointed. We were building something good here, and I truly thought that I was a valuable member of the team, and that I had proven what we could do as an organization." Big Boss looked at me, like I was the dead ground hog he had nailed to a tree and proudly showed me at a company picnic at his house. The ground hog was "an example to the others", and surely keeping the other ground hogs away. Big Boss the Impaler. But I digress.

Big Boss turned to me, and said "we have a traffic manager position open, it pays less, but you can have it if you want". I asked if I could have a day to think about it. He agreed. I drove home that night, and as soon as I saw my honey, I told her the story. I said "FLOCK him! I will not take that job that pays tens of thousands of dollars less to do the same work". She looked at me, and did what she always does, calmly laid out the situation. "We just bought this house, the pay for that job is more than unemployment. You will go in and thank him tomorrow, take the position, and then find a new job." As the head of the household, I stood my ground and firmly said "yes dear".

The next day I went in, hat in hand, and took the job. A couple of months later, the company reinstated me to my old position with my old salary. But something had broken. What was broken, couldn't be fixed. Trust. Once trust is broken, all of the kings horses, and all of his men can't put it back together. It took me a few months, but I left. I learned a lot on that job, and from the experience of working in that environment. Some of our greatest lessons are learned from the bad stuff that happens in life. Not all learning is accompanied by the sounds of trumpets.

Here are some of the pearls I learned for your consideration:

• Everyone can be replaced. Deal with this. Even you can be replaced.
• In organizational restructuring, the line managers have little if any say in who gets let go. Your dedication, good humor, office decor, and the fact that you wash your hands after you use the bathroom will probably have little or no effect on whether you are on the hit list.
• Big severance packages only exist in government jobs and movies. Chances are you will be given a couple of weeks pay on the condition that you sign away all of your future independent thoughts to the company letting you go as a condition to receive the grocery money severance.
• Worrying about your job will do nothing to keep you in your job.
• If you are using a hand truck to take work home with you, the message you are probably sending is that you are so inefficient in the office that you need most of the nights and weekends to get your work done. 
• Few companies measure productivity by person, most measurement is at the department level. Extraordinary efforts are great for the team, and we should all be making these efforts, but this alone won't save you when your time comes.
• At the end of it all, the quality of our life is related to the quality of our relationships. 

Have I missed anything? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. 

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